Couch Potato Blues: The Ultimate TV Guide To Cure Any Girl's Bad Day
Fact: Netflix, Hulu and HBO Go are the original baes. They’re always there when you need them, and they know how to give you exactly what you want -- even when you’re lying in bed, hungover and munching on some Chinese takeout.
Whether you had a bad day, a bad week or life has just generally decided to be sh*tty, your on-demand TV guide will always make you feel better. There’s nothing quite like a terribly good show to make even the worst day seem a little less crappy.
Grab your PJs, put your hair up in a half-assed bun, climb into bed and get your laptop ready. The next few hours (or days) are going to be the best TV therapy session of your life.
1. "Sex and the City"
If Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda can’t cheer you up, I don’t know who can.
Best for: A post-breakup binge. "SATC" is all about girl power and that’s what you need right now.
Most Quotable: "The fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun."
Notable Episode: "The One Where Ross Can’t Flirt"
Really, just about any "Friends" episode can fit in here, but this one played in the background during the best orgasm of my life so it will always have a special place in my heart.
Best for: When your friends want to go out for the third night in a row and you just want to watch something with a laugh track instead.
Quotable: "See, when you flirt with a guy, you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
3. "Gilmore Girls"
Notable Episode: "Pilot"
There is no place more magical than Stars Hollow. Also, there are no women more ageless than Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham and early-game Melissa McCarthy.
Best for: Nights you miss your mom’s cooking and are feeling extra homesick.
Quotable: "Does he have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away he'd better have a motorcycle!"
4. "Broad City"
Notable Episode: "Hashtag FOMO"
"Broad City" is everything "Girls" isn’t — never moody, never not funny, never leaves you sad and questionably crushing on Adam Driver.
Best for: When all your friends are going to a party you weren’t invited to.
Quotable: "Carpe dayum!"
5. "Full House"
Notable Episode: "Rock the Cradle"
This show is just so wholesome, you can’t help but feel like hugging your dad afterward.
Best for: When you had to be an adult and file your taxes by yourself and just want to be a child again. Also, when you need some old-school John Stamos in your life.
Quotable: "No, Jesse, it’s not she’s having a hot dog. It’s she’s having a baby and the she is me! I’m having a baby!"
6. "How I Met Your Mother"
Notable Episode: "The Playbook"
This show solidified the fact that Neil Patrick Harris is a national treasure.
Best for: A bad Tinder date who won’t stop asking if you’re "DTF" three months after you swore to never see him again.
Quotable: "When I go to the freezer looking for a popsicle or the remote control because Lily and I are having a fight and she's hidden it there, do you know what I find? Frozen waffles. That's how it works. You go out there looking for a paper, you're coming back with frozen waffles. And in this case, frozen waffles is a guy. Also, could you pick up some frozen waffles? In that case, frozen waffles are frozen waffles."
7. "Once Upon a Time"
Notable Episode: "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter"
I’m sorry, but Jamie Dornan is WAY hotter in OUAT than he was in "Fifty Shades." The five or so minutes he spent on that show were the most glorious moments of TV ever.
Best for: When you realize you haven’t been to Disney World since you were twelve and desperately need a good ‘ol fashioned princess-y romp (with Jamie Dornan, duh.)
Quotable: "I always felt there were two kinds of people: wolves and sheep. Those who kill and those who get killed.
8. "The Office"
Notable Episode: "The Convict"
Steve Carell: that awkward uncle we never had but need because, come on, it’s Steve Carell.
Best for: When you had a full day of meetings and want nothing more than to laugh at other people’s workplace mishaps.
Quotable: "Why did the convict have to be a black guy? It is such a stereotype. I just wish that Josh had made a more progressive choice. Like a white guy... who went to prison for... polluting a black guy's lake."
9. "House Hunters International"
Let other people’s wanderlust become your own.
Best for: When you realize you haven’t been on vacation for two years and debate booking a one-way ticket to Taipei.
Quotable: Any reference to crown molding.