She Knows Her Worth: Why We're Afraid Of A Woman Who Praises Herself

by Zara Barrie

The modern woman is a force to be reckoned with. Women are statistically killing it in all areas of the modern world like never before.

In short, we are badass entrepreneurial girl bosses who boast heaps of mega success scattered across a vast variety of industries and lifestyles.

We are strong physically and mentally. We are educated through the vessels of both school and culture. We are unstoppable forces of girl nature, and the media is finally starting to take note.

Never has there ever been a moment in the course of history when women have been depicted as so undeniably fierce.

Mainstream pop culture is teeming with girls who speak their glorious minds. Girls who are fearlessly challenging gender norms. Girls who are owning their sexual identity and girls who are single-handedly breaking society’s oppressive standards of "beauty."

The Western world is finally catching on to the fact that we can do and be so many different things. That we don't need to live in the painful shackles of definitions and labels. That we are beautiful, multi-faceted walking contradictions.

We can compete with the boys in charge. We can have sex with the same frivolity as men. We can run businesses. We can date other women. We can travel the world. We can raise children and thrive in our careers.

But, of course, we can't let you know that we know this.

Among the great liberties we are claiming for ourselves, there is still something we can't ever, ever do: praise ourselves.

God forbid we dare to make even a subtle mention of our impressive accomplishments out loud. Verbalizing our victories is deemed obnoxious.

We are instantly hated the moment our lips twist themselves around a kind word about ourselves. It is immediately followed by hushed tones whispering about what egomaniacal and delusional bitches we are.

Disclaimer: I'm not talking about girls who recklessly show off. I'm talking about something so very different than bragging.

I'm talking about how much flak us girls receive for simply acknowledging that we kicked ass at something. That we excelled. That we are goddamn GOOD at something, for crying out f*cking loud.

So what's a modern girl to do? Hide behind a thick mask of false modesty, my friends. We all do it.

But, girls, I don't know about you, but for me, it's starting to feel a little bit suffocating underneath all of that heavy plastic.

I'm exhausted from spewing the same endless stream of bullsh*t excuses: "Oh, it was nothing,” “Oh, it was luck,” “Oh, it's no big deal."

Because if we were to verbally own our unconventional beauty, our vehement power and our praiseworthy triumphs -- we would finally be owning who we are.

How empowering would it be for little girls to witness a slew of strong women who deeply understand their value in the world?

But instead, we downplay all that we have so we don't dare to threaten the masses.

Except there's always that one girl, right? That one fearless, boundary-breaking girl who doesn't subscribe to the toxicities of false modesty.

The amazing chick who simply owns her sh*t and doesn't give a sh*t if we like it or not.

Us girls secretly idolize her. Boys are intimidated by her mere shadow and cower to her. And society -- well, society is scared of her.

Because she's different than the rest.

Society is notoriously afraid of the unknown. A woman who verbalizes how she feels about herself in a positive manner is an entity we are simply not used to.

While we're absolutely used to women putting themselves down, a fierce force of feminine nature who has the wherewithal to say "I look good today" or dares to state "I did a good job" is terrifying to the masses because it's shockingly unfamiliar.

Because she's aware of her success.

It's wonderful for a woman to be smart, to be beautiful, to be hyper-intellectual. She is embraced for these qualities, so long as she's not aware of it.

"She's brilliant, and she doesn't even know it," they will say behind closed doors after she has left the room.

Girls, enough already! Don't you realize the moment we are aware of our power is the moment we will stop settling for less than what we deserve?!

Knowing your incredible worth in the world is frightening because when you understand your value, that's the very moment you will ask for more money and demand a higher standard of whom you get romantically involved with.

Maybe we are so discouraged to praise ourselves because if we do -- the good ol' boys will really have to step up to the plate. They will have to, dare I say, pay us more and treat us with more respect.

Because it's radical to love yourself.

Our media is peppered with girls who openly hate themselves. It's a sad epidemic that sweeps across all platforms, social media being the key target.

It's okay for girls to be lost, insecure, hopelessly sad and struggling with a distorted body image.

Because the girl who is openly struggling is begging for society to swoop in and save her. She's still the victim; she's not asking to be in power.

How very different from the girl who praises herself. It's a radical act for a woman to love herself on a public platform these days.

Society is taken aback and doesn't quite know what to do with her because she's not asking to be rescued. On the contrary, she's DEMANDING respect and recognition.

Because if she recognizes what she has, then society has to as well.

By proclaiming something aloud, we are proclaiming to the universe at large that we recognize our value. We are aware of our unique talents, awesome strengths and endless brainpower.

By verbalizing these things, we are demanding that society listens to us. That we won't let anyone ignore all that we offer the world and that we expect something in return.

We are not allowing you to take from us, unless you give back.

Because verbalizing something makes it real.

People are forever afraid to say things out loud because once we do, it becomes real. It's the very reason we have so much trouble discussing a traumatic event or a pressing pain from the past.

Same goes for our achievements. When we speak our triumphs out loud, they are suddenly real. It's no longer this unspoken secret buried deep beneath us but something tangible.

Because her self-esteem comes from within.

The girl who praises herself isn't reliant on outside validation. If she was, she would need you to tell her how glorious she is.

But she already knows how glorious she is, so she doesn't need you or your compliments, sorry.

Because you can't knock a girl off a pedestal she built herself.

The root of why society is so direly afraid of a girl who has the confidence to honestly, unabashedly praise herself is that she is a self-made woman. She didn't need your help designing her personality.

She is demanding you respect her because she has let the rest of us know that she respects herself.

She climbed her way up to this incredible point of high self-esteem. No outer sources were there to lift her up. After all, you can't knock a girl off a pedestal she built with her own two very capable hands.

And if you do, she has the tools to build herself a new one.