No woman is eager to advertise that she may have read a dating and relationship self-help book or two. I’m certainly not proud of it. That's right, I’m guilty!
During my many years of bad dates and finding myself too often in the wrong relationship, I’ve turned to those books in times of desperation.
I noticed that all the books I’ve read give the same old silly dating tips that encourage women to play games. I used to think it was all nonsense. After all, if you meet your soul mate, you shouldn’t have to play any games to win him over, right?
Well, currently I’m in a happy and healthy relationship with an amazing man. It recently dawned on me that I snagged my boyfriend by subconsciously following many of those silly rules.
I no longer think the tips in those books are so silly because they worked for me.
Here are the seven simple rules I accidentally followed that landed me my dream man, and continue to keep my relationship with him a happy and healthy one.
1. Ignore him
When a guy first contacts you, ignore him. Don’t answer his calls or call him back right away. Wait a few days. He needs to know you’re busy and you have a life. You’re not desperate, and you don’t need a man to be happy.
When the phone rings, don’t jump. Don’t ever be the girl who sits by the phone and waits for a man to call, not even if you’re married.
It’s an old-fashioned idea, but a man should court a woman throughout the entire relationship.
2. Reject him
When a man first asks you out, say no. Tell him you're busy. He should ask you out more than once before you say yes. You always hear the old cliché that men love the chase, and it's true.
If you make a man wait and work hard to lock down a date with you, he will worship you.
He will cherish your time together so much more because he had to work hard to land a catch like you. If a man really likes you, he will move mountains to win you over. The harder he has to fight for you, the more he will value you.
3. Love yourself
You should work harder at improving yourself than you work at your relationship. If you’re struggling with a problem in your personal life, such as a health issue or a work situation, make that your priority.
When you take good care of yourself and make your own life a priority, it’s attractive! This will not go unnoticed by your man. He will respect you more and become your biggest fan.
Men are drawn to women who have self-respect.
4. Make him work around your schedule
Never put your significant other's life before your own.
If he asks you to go to an event with him that conflicts with something important in your life, tell him no.
A man should work around your schedule because your time is just as important as his. Never put his life before yours.
5. Be a woman of your word
No one is perfect. There are certain things with which a woman is and isn’t willing to put up. From the beginning of the relationship, it’s important to vocalize what you want and expect.
If there’s a problem, tell your man he needs to fix it or you will show him the door.
It’s important for women to be clear with their wants and needs in order for their relationships to work right from the start. Stick by those words. This will save you a lot of trouble in the future.
6. Maintain your own life, but compromise
In any relationship, it’s healthy to maintain your own life, too. A couple shouldn’t always do everything together.
Let him have a night out with they boys and don’t be afraid to have your girls' night, too. It’s important do your own thing, and it’s healthy to have activities you love to do together.
But, it’s also healthy to have your own hobbies. There will be times when you won’t always be able to be together, but it’s important to compromise. Your time and his time should be equally valuable; however, to make a relationship work, there needs to be some compromise.
7. Praise him
Even if you're an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to survive, oftentimes, life is better with the help, love and support of a boyfriend.
Whether it’s getting flowers that were just meant to make you smile or helping you through life's tough times, it’s always great to have the sincere support of a companion.
It’s essential to never take the little things for granted and constantly verbalize how much you appreciate your significant other. It gives a man great satisfaction to take care of the woman he loves, and it means the world to him to hear praise for his kind acts.
These tactics have worked for me in my relationship. I know beautiful and smart women who struggle with one bad date or relationship after another. I noticed that all of these friends do the exact opposite of what I did to snag my dream guy.
These rules may be challenging to follow, but the outcome will be well worth it!