How do you know if someone loves SoulCycle? Because that person won't stop talking about it, that's how. This spinning class has taken America, along with our collective bank accounts, by storm with absolutely no sign of letting up any time soon.
I get it — exercise is addicting and once you find a method that works for you, it's almost impossible not to fall for its gimmicks. But honestly $40 for ONE class is absurd (this is including shoe rental and tax).
Who has $40 to just throw away on one class? Where is this ONE class going to get you besides back in the studio dropping more and more money you don't have? You know what you can get with $40 — A TON OF THINGS that will probably (definitely) last longer than the benefits of one SoulCycle class.
So what does $40 look like?
1. At least three grams of weed
And if you were to add that to what you were already planning to spend on bud, it could go even further! Can you think of a better way to spend your money?
2. 38 items on the dollar menu
You must always account for tax.
3. A nice sushi dinner for one
And isn't food the most important thing to spend your money on?
4. Three days worth of groceries
That will be even better than one meal!
5. A monthly tanning package at Beach Bum Tanning
If you can't tone it, tan it.
6. Three bottles of Argan Oil
Your hair will definitely be thanking you. And when your hair looks great, no one is looking at your body anyway! Which brings us to...
7. A BaByliss Pro hair straightener
Everyone needs a great iron that will last for years to come.
8. A variety of personalized photo gifts from Shutterfly for your grandma
Is there anything your grandmother would appreciate more for the holidays?
9. A tank of gas
That will literally get your farther than peddling on a stationary bicycle.
10. A blowout from Drybar
Someone else has to deal with washing and styling your hair?! That's worth way more than $40.
11. Generic Plan B One-Step
The gift that keeps on giving...
12. Your co-pay at the doctor's office
Don't you think this is more beneficial for your health?
13. Your utility bill
Sometimes $40 can be the difference between having electricity or not.
14. These pajama shorts from Revolve Clothing
Your boyfriend will find these a lot more attractive than your sweatpants.
15. A silicone case for your new iPhone 6
Because if you don't have a case, there's no point in even owning the phone.
16. Concert tickets
The memory of a concert will vastly exceed the memory at SoulCycle.
17. 17 trips on New York's glamorous subway system
That will get you a lot farther than cab fare would.
18. Warren Buffett could tell you how to turn that $40 in $10 million
Yes, seriously — check it out.
19. Gear One G100DX Isolation Headphones
Everyone needs a solid pair of headphones, which brings us to...
20. A monthly gym membership anywhere that is not Equinox
...Or Crunch. Or NYSC.
21. A spiralizer!
Because turning your vegetables into pasta is probably just as beneficial, if not more, than one SoulCycle class.
22. These dope Toms
And a portion of your purchase is even donated!
23. A bottle of Crown Royale on sale
Because drinking your calories is so much more fun than burning them.
24. Entrance to an underground strip club
Because watching other people take their clothes off is better than you taking your clothes off.
25. Three large Domino's pizzas
Money spent on pizza is always money well spent.
26. A piercing
Because you can never really have enough of those.
27. A Brazilian wax
Hopefully, you are not sacrificing this for your SoulCycle class.
28. A manicure/pedicure with an extra 10 minute massage
The massage always make it worth it.
29. Four months worth of a Spotify subscription
Are you not entertained?!
30. A pair of Quay sunglasses
Everyone needs a good pair of these.
31. A used Nook or Kindle
Because it's just as important to exercise your mind.
32. Two Snuggies
For when you want to be comfortable when you skip the gym
33. A new bowl
It's so much better than cleaning your current one.
34. Clinque Moisturizer
Male or female — everyone needs this.
35. A starter pack of Teatox
A gimmick a day keeps the SoulCycle away.
36. A haircut
You need to work on beauty from top to bottom.
37. A new LORAC eyeshadow palette
Because you know that one is never, ever enough
38. Pinkberry for a week straight
Calories don't count if they come in the form of frozen yogurt.
39. Half a pair of Lululemon leggings
At least these last for more than one hour.
40. At least 3 grams of weed
Uh, wait, did I already say that?