35 Things I Hope My Daughter Never Has To Experience

by Lauren Martin

To say that I’m scared for the future generations of the world is a passing statement. To say that I’m scared to bring a daughter into this world is a fear I hold tightly.

It’s a fear that consumes my subconscious and conscious states and sits deep down in the pit of my stomach. It’s a fear that keeps me up at night and comes out in my darkest moments of despair and loneliness. It’s an innate instinct that strengthens as I grow older and another year hardens me.

You see, I’m scared to bring another woman into this world because I know what it is to be a woman. I know what it’s like to wear the deep scars of inadequacy and to carry the heavy burden of fading youth.

I know how it feels to be ostracized, immortalized and degraded at the same time. I know what it feels like to have your heart broken into a million pieces by a man who wasn’t worth a hello. I know what it feels like to be constantly compared to idealized women with perfect bone structure and airbrushed hips.

I know what it feels like to be reduced to just a pair of tits and ass. I know what it’s like to be judged by a glance and overlooked for a woman with better hair and bigger tits. I know what it feels like to be put down because of gender-induced stereotypes. I know what it feels like to never want to get out of bed because you don’t feel pretty enough to face the world.

I know what it feels like to be afraid of rejection and to be desensitized to belittlement. I know what it feels like to be discarded and replaced. I know what it feels like to be betrayed and judged by impossible standards, and I never want my daughter to feel this way.

I want my daughter to feel strong and invincible. I want her to wear her flaws and imperfections as badges of strength and beauty. I want her to look past the stares and the judgments and find a path of self-acceptance, which so many women fail to ever unearth. I want her to never feel the deep pain of heartbreak or the shallow judgments of her peers. I want her to see beyond stereotypes and to walk above the grain. After reading an article that spoke of all the things a woman wanted her daughters to see, I started thinking about the things I never wanted my future daughter to go through.

I want her to be her own woman, and I hope she doesn’t ever have to experience these dirty, evil and superficial bits and pieces of life:

1. Heartbreak from a man who did her wrong.

2. Betrayal from a friend who was nothing but an enemy.

3. Hopelessness from a world that doesn’t seem to get any better.

4. Despair from being told she "can’t" too many times.

5. Jealousy of people who are nothing more than airbrushed images.

6. Belittlement from a society that only judges on outward appearances. 7. Insecurity from the women around her.

8. Inadequacy from images glamorized by the media.

9. Rejection from men who don’t understand depth and real beauty.

10. Loss of faith in a world that continues to disappoint.

11. Fear of the unknown.

12. Envy of women who aren’t worth envying.

13. Embarrassment of her flaws.

14. Disappointment from those who are supposed to protect her.

15. Shame of her body.

16. Discouragement from those who are supposed to believe in her.

17. Discomfort from the cat calls of perverse men.

18. Bullying from kids who were raised with no moral centers.

19. Gender inequality in her newfound job.

20. Lost moments from worrying about the future.

21. Uselessness by people who don’t see her worth.

22. Guilt for things she cannot change.

23. Dishonor in her roots and her past.

24. Contempt for things unworthy of anger.

25. Self doubt in her limitless abilities.

26. Anxiety over the daily stresses of life.

27. Disbelief in the evil doings of fellow man.

28. Grief for things that aren’t worth tears.

29. Desolation in the future of the world.

30. Torment over the suffering of others.

31. Obsession with the materialistic and the mundane.

32. Preoccupation with people who don’t care.

33. Finding her validation in another person.

34. Regret from never putting herself out there.

35. Feeling like she isn't worthy of all she truly deserves in life.

Photo via We Heart It