35 Signs You Were A Basic 2000s B*tch

by Samantha Matt

This article was originally posted on on December 1, 2014, with the title, "35 Signs You Were a Basic 2000s B*tch." It has been republished with permission. 

1. You wore your matching Tiffany heart tag necklace and bracelet with pride.

We Heart It

But, you STOPPED wearing them by 2003 because you were like SO over it.

2. You were a frequent buyer of the five for $20 panties deal at Victoria’s Secret.

You were like a walking advertisement for the VS Pink collection; “PINK” was written across your ass everywhere you went.

3. You had and regularly wore a Von Dutch hat.

Why? No one knows.

4. Your favorite movie was "Mean Girls."

Mean Girls

And, hey, it probably still is.

5. The number of skirts you owned was needlessly high.

And, the majority of them were either short denim skirts (10 points if they were ripped)…or ruffled skirts. SO MANY SKIRTS. I blame "Mean Girls" (see: photo from #4).

6. You had highlights that made you look like a zebra.

Your mom said no, but for some reason, you didn’t listen.

7. You put Dashboard Confessional or Taking Back Sunday lyrics in your AIM profile.


This showed how *scene* and *emotional* you were.


Or, you featured a 90s rock song directed toward someone who probably did not know you existed.

7. You layered everything.

Polos on Polos — because you rocked that double popped collar like a f*cking boss circa 2004.

Your collared shirts came from abercrombie, Abercrombie & Fitch (they're different, duh), Hollister, Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, American Eagle (ugh). You also layered tank tops. And t-shirts. And everything. It was weird.

8. You enjoyed the songs playing in Hollister.


9. You owned army pants.

...And flip flops.

10. You lived and died by your super cool flip phone.

Which was obviously your Razr, or your Nextel if you were lucky. *BEEP, BEEP*

11. After school and extracurriculars were done for the day, you spent your free time sitting and staring at your computer screen, waiting for your crush to sign on.


Would you IM him? No. Would he IM you? No. But what a f*cking thrill, right?

12. You read the "Gossip Girl" series.

Ughhh, your life was so lame in comparison. Why did you have to grow up NORMALLY?

13. You hair was STRAIGHT AS F*CK.


14. The only time your hair wasn’t straight was when you “sprunched” it with “sprunch” spray.

15. You made awesome mix CDs with all the songs you downloaded from Limewire & Kazaa.

You also took it one step further and wrote the name of each song on the CD in pretty colors.

16. You had an iPod Nano.

But this didn’t stop you from making mix CDs.

17. Probably the hardest decision you had to make in the 2000s was who would be in your Top 8.

MySpace made life SO HARD.

18. You actually got the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.

Like, it was sent to your house.

19. The more rips in your jeans, the better.

Oh, and then add some random writing to the jeans and you’ve got THE PERFECT PAIR.

20. Uggs over your jeans and folded was the look you went for every day.

Don’t forget your North Face!!!

21. You loooved Dane Cook.

He was, like, so funny.

22. BBM was the only way you communicated during the late 2000s.

Blackberry life!

23. Paris Hilton was your spirit animal.

"The Simple Life" -- LOLOLOL, so funny.

24. You remember when Polaroid cameras came back for a hot second, and you obvi had one.

They printed instantly so you could tape pics to your agenda right away!!!

25. You rocked folded, off-the-shoulder shirts like it was nobody’s business.

They were, like, from the 80s or something. Chic.

26. You never, ever took off your Livestrong bracelet.

27. Your favorite show was "The OC" and you thought you were Summer Roberts.

And, you thought you were dating Seth Cohen. Or, maybe that was just me... IDK.

28. You always rocked a French manicure.

Because, why dare to be different when you can look like everyone else? #The2000sMotto

29. You have grinded to “Get Low.”

And I don’t mean in Vegas when you saw Lil Jon DJ at Encore a few months ago (LOL, just me?); I mean at the *middle school dance.* Sh*t was cray.

30. Your Juicy sweatsuit was a way of life.

If you didn’t have one, who even were you?

31. You had no idea whether it was, in fact, chicken or fish, either.

"But, how can tuna be chicken of the sea???" God, Jessica, YOU’RE SO STUPID.

32. "Bring It On" made you want to become a cheerleader.

33. "Laguna Beach" was your sh*t.

34. You loved Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan… and so did Aaron Carter.

You also loved Aaron Carter.

35. You were basically in a giant love affair with logos.

Your Dooney & Bourke bag. Your Coach bag. Your graphic tees. Your branded polos. You were a walking advertisement. And YOU F*CKING LOVED IT.