19 Ways The Freshman 15 Will Continue To Haunt You In Your Post-Grad Years
Ah, the freshman 15: something nearly all people have experienced, whether they care to admit it or not. Your freshman year of college is basically an entirely new world.
Long gone are the days when your parents were monitoring your every move and now you're faced with endless freedom.
What comes with newfound freedom? Every single thing in excessive amounts -- especially food.
You may question your food habits and tendencies and think, "Where did it all begin?" and "How did this happen?" Well, the answer to that could be the first time you encountered that little taste of freedom.
But how has that first taste of freedom transcended college? Oh, let me count the ways...
1. You think it's perfectly acceptable to order delivery after 11 pm at night... on a weekday
You thought this was normal and acceptable behavior until your post-grad roommates started making comments to you like: "It's so late. How can you eat right before bed?"
What? Do other people -- gasp! -- not order food after they've already eaten dinner? That just doesn't make sense to me.
2. You see no issue having food delivered to public places
Every library binge study session happened right alongside a food delivery binge session.
Everyone knows you can't study without brain fuel, but you couldn't waste time going to and from the dining hall. This made delivery the only available option... right?
3. You still believe that if no one saw you eat it, it didn't happen
If you eat an entire order of General Tso's Chicken, but no one was there to witness it, did it ever really happen? Destroy the evidence and you're good to go.
4. You know the exact amount of days it would take for you to fit into that dress
Okay, so, Frat Formal is on Friday and today is Sunday, which means I need to start cutting carbs by, hmm, Tuesday? Yes, Tuesday, that sounds right.
5. Rationalization is your finest quality
Got an A on that test you crammed for? You deserve that sushi dinner. Didn't black out last night? You better believe you are ordering takeout.
Whatever reason you can make up in your mind is valid enough of an excuse to eat whatever you want.
6. You can never resist a good discount
Freshmen aren't used to getting food for such cheap prices, which is probably the reason you have to take advantage of every single Seamless discount code that appears in your inbox.
7. There is no problem that food can't solve
We don't cry in college; we eat.
8. Every celebration revolves around food
Birthdays? Group Dinner. Sorority initiation? Feast time. Dumped your cheating boyfriend? Pass the dessert.
9. Late-night eating will always be your favorite hobby
To this day, every night you go out ends with some sort of late-night feast. Sure, you typically regret it come morning but you never experienced more joy than in that exact moment.
10. You are an expert in crash dieting
The diets that emerge before every school break range from crazy, to absurd, to downright unhealthy. But as with everything, you live and you learn. Too bad you're still "learning."
11. You still eat things while intoxicated that you would never eat otherwise
You may hate hot dogs, but your drunk alter ego seems to love them. Alcohol makes everything taste better regardless if you are even hungry or not.
12. There is no such thing as being full
Seeing which of your friends will enter a food coma first was one of your most glorious and rewarding pastimes in college. Sadly, this is how you still spend your weekends.
13. You understand and appreciate the implication of "tomorrow"
Every day brings with it a new set of goals and aspirations: the chance to eat unprocessed food and raw vegetables. But guess what? That can wait until tomorrow...
14. "Skinny-fat" is still your biggest enemy
The epitome of Regina George -- and your life.
15. To this day, the biggest lie you tell yourself is that you want to make being healthy your "lifestyle"
After realizing you tacked on the inevitable freshman 15, you vowed to change your lifestyle to one where you would opt for salad instead of cheese fries. Only problem is, you start over with your new "lifestyle" every month.
16. Your friends get a sick thrill out of watching you break your diet
You finally think you've got a hold on what caused you to gain the freshman 15, but, honestly, you're still fighting those cravings. Your friends know how hard you try, but they still think it's hilarious when you throw your Chobani in the trash and pick up the penne alla Vodka.
17. You know there is nothing in your fridge, but it doesn't stop you from checking every three and a half minutes
The first time you were lucky enough to have a mini fridge was probably in your college dormroom. You never actually stocked this fridge with anything besides water bottles full of vodka, but for some reason, this is where you found yourself multiple times throughout the night.
Fast forward years later in your "adult" apartment at 1 am, where you're still doing the exact same thing.
18. Soft-Body Sunday is your favorite day of the week
After a long week of studying and partying, there is only one appropriate way to recover: to stuff your face with food all Sunday long. And you have no problem lying horizontal for hours on end, eating.
This tradition started in college and has managed to resurface in your post-grad life and, honestly, you couldn't be more happy about it.
19. You will, for the most part, always choose to go home with a pizza instead of a man
A man can disappoint, a pizza never will.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It