It's About To Be A Bitchuation: 18 Times It's Perfectly OK To Be A Bitch
Sometimes being a bitch is fun -- actually, it's usually pretty fun. Now, I'm not saying you should be a bitch whenever the opportunity presents itself, but there are certain instances when it is acceptable.
Dealing with stupid people is usually what results with this shift in attitude and, honestly, they probably deserve it.
Being a bitch can be cathartic, especially when the party warrants such a reaction. When is it OK to let your inner anger out? Well, if it is one of these 18 times, that's when!
1. When the manicurist f*cks up your manicure
I said file and make them square! Now they're round and look like they belong on my grandma's hands. How am I supposed to go on a date with fingers looking like this?
How, as a nail technician, did you think this was a good idea? Ugh, thank God these grow back or we'd really be screwed.
2. When your delivery order is late and messed up
It's bad enough Seamless told me that my food would be delivered within 30-45 minutes, and it's been over an hour, but now the order isn't even right?
I don't even understand how that happens because it's literally written out right in front of you.
How is this sooooo difficult? And why does it happen all of the time?
3. When your hairdresser cuts off 6+ inches when you asked for a dusting
Nails? Fine, I can deal with it since they will grow back in a few weeks, but a bad haircut lasts a lifetime. Trust me. I'm still trying to recover from a hack job back in 2010.
Thank God for hair extensions or I'd be sh*t out of luck. Hmm, I wonder if they have hair insurance for that because they definitely should.
4. When someone cat calls you on the street
Yeah, you Mr. construction worker; what if I actually took you up on your offer? Now what? Quickie in the alley?
You f*cking idiot, I doubt you would even follow through if you had the opportunity. BYE.
5. When your best friend steals the guy you called dibs on
Um, didn't "Mean Girls" teach you anything? While calling dibs on a person is essentially something reserved for high schoolers, this still actually happens.
If your friend calls dibs, just let her have him; he probably will end up sucking anyway, and you get first grabs the next time around.
6. When the eyebrow waxer takes off half your brow and rips your skin in the process
How do you even react to this one? Oh, you'll give me a refund? Of course, you better f*cking give me a refund.
You should also buy me an eyebrow pencil for the rest of my life since I will never ever recover from this horrible experience.
7. When the Starbucks barista gets your drink wrong
Do you think I'm not going to realize that you put sweetener in the beverage I specifically ordered to be unsweetened? Or when you put regular milk in my coffee and not the soy milk I asked for?
Because now this lactose intolerant girl will spend the day with her head in the toilet, vomiting.
8. When the taxi driver assumes you're clueless and takes you on a roundabout route
Sir, just because I had to look up the address of my destination doesn't mean I am unfamiliar with the city.
I know exactly what you are doing; I wasn't born yesterday, and this is definitely not my first cab ride. Assh*le.
9. When the taxi driver's credit card machine is broken
You know what this sounds like? A "you" problem. Why the hell am I getting penalized because YOUR machine is not functioning properly.
Sure, let me go to the closest ATM and receive a $3.50 surcharge. Hey, buddy, you know what that sounds like? Your tip.
10. When the credit card company cancels your card after a purchase you actually made
I understand that I just dropped an excessive amount of money while on a retail therapy binge, but that is no reason to freeze my card.
I get that you are just looking out and "doing your job," but I don't have the patience to deal with that, as I need to nurse my broken heart with a new pair of shoes.
11. When someone walks the wrong way down the stairs and smacks into you
Oh no, don't mind me, I'm just abiding by the basic laws of humanity as your inconsiderate ass walks down the wrong side of the stairs and knocks into me in the process.
Of course, you don't apologize because why would you...
12. When the waiter brings out your appetizer and main course simultaneously
This has got to be one of the most frustrating parts about going out to eat. Isn't the entire point of ordering an appetizer that it comes out before the meal, not with it -- and certainly not after it.
There's a 99 percent chance I don't even want the appetizer at this point anyway, so you just wasted your ingredients and my time.
13. When someone steps on your foot without saying sorry
It's fine if you step on me, but at least acknowledge the fact that you just destroyed my $32 pedicure...
14. When you're at a club and a guy thinks it's okay to rub up against you
Did I say touch me? Why do some men think it's perfectly fine and acceptable to approach a female in this manner. Has that ever really worked?
Actually, I don't think I want to know the answer to that question.
15. When someone tries to talk to you and you have your headphones in
When people wear their headphones, they are basically telling the world not to bother them. They may not even have music playing, but they keep them in place so as not to be bothered by pesky individuals.
If you have to tap these people to get their attention, you should just take it as a sign that you shouldn't bother them.
16. When you go to Chipotle and they are out of chicken
I don't understand how a restaurant can run out of its main ingredient. Why are you even still open if you don't carry the one item that is in 99 percent of your options?
At least have the decency to put a sign outside so I don't wait online for 20 minutes.
17. When you're trying to talk to a person, but all you get is an automated robot that can't understand you
How many times do I have to press "0" before I'm connected to a live human being? For some reason, these automatic answering systems are supposed to make our lives easier... except they do the exact opposite.
There is absolutely no way in hell you are going to be anything except rude once a real person finally answers the phone.
18. When a homeless person with a newer iPhone than you asks for money
I don't even have the 5s, sir. This is just ridiculous and a really, really terrible way to try and get donations.