Prom: The event every high schooler looks forward to. You know guys secretly loved this occasion, too, as their dates are more likely to put out on this night -- just kidding, but only a little.
If your prom night didn't revolve around alcohol, then I'm not sure what function you were attending and this post is definitely not for you.
For the girls, finding the perfect dress was crucial and most likely a month-long endeavor. "Classy not trashy" should be the motto on this search, but sadly many do not live by these standards. Fast-forward to sparkles, sequins and cut-out "gowns" (if you can even call them that).
Finding a date if you are in a relationship is easy, but if you're single, this can be quite the anxiety-ridden experience.
Spray tans are all the rage come prom season. I worked at a tanning salon during my senior year of high school and, holy sh*t, I've never spray tanned more people in my life. Obviously people opt for the tanning beds as well, but that's just to be expected.
2. Figuring out a limo situation
Prom is nothing like it seems in the movies. You will not roll up in an absurdly decked out limo. What you more likely will have is either a party bus or a smaller limo with your immediate group of friends. Oh, and something while planning for this limo will definitely get f*cked up.
3. Figuring out a date
Being single during prom season is filled with anxiety. Who's going to ask you? What if someone you don't want to go with asks you? What if no one asks you? You plagued yourself with these questions as you and your best single friend made a pact to just take each other (as if that would ever happen).
4. Crash dieting
You most likely don't need to go on a diet, but you will anyway because apparently that's what prom entails. You want to look the best you can because you're spending an unnecessary amount of money on your dress.
5. Getting the perfect group picture
If you don't take a group photo, did you really even go to prom? This picture was essential and if we had a cover photo back then, this would definitely be it. Guys in the front, girls in the back and hands on hips -- and that, ladies and gentlemen, is the "the prom pose."
6. Figuring out how to sneak alcohol in the limo
Of course your parents go to pre-prom for the photos, so it's pretty difficult to figure out how to sneak alcohol past them. Drinking on the way to prom is perhaps the most important part of the process. It sets the pace and mood for the rest of the night, but remember not to drink too much...
7. But, first, figuring out who's going to buy it
Not everyone had a fake ID by the time prom rolled around; I, fortunately, was not one of those people. However, this is the exact moment that having an older sibling comes in handy. Who else is going to understand your struggle?
8. How about getting into the actual event?
You clearly have to pull your sh*t together because the faculty is looking for any excuse to kick people out. Your teachers and principal weren't born yesterday and are well aware you were up to no good on your way over. Don't worry, they won't be patting you down...
9. Will they breathalyze you upon arrival?
I'm not sure who started this rumor/myth, but this is a BS scare tactic. This always divided your group in half because there were those who actually believed this absurdity. Whatever. It's worth the risk and, honestly, who's going to really waste their time breathalyzing every attendee?
10. How to take shots in the bathroom without the valedictorian knowing
You safely made it into prom, but you've lost your buzz due to anxiety. The only option at this point is to take shots in the bathroom -- and when I say "take shots," I clearly mean take turns chugging from the plastic water bottle your date snuck in his boxers.
11. Seeing who will step up and have the after party
The after party is all dependent upon where you live. Some people choose to have house parties whereas others head down to the Jersey shore. If the option is a house party, you know what a process this entails.
No one ever wants to be responsible (I use this term very loosely) for a bunch of drunk underage kids who will be knocking vases over left and right. Which leads us to...
12. Figuring out the lie you're going to tell your parents about where the after party actually is
Despite your best efforts, your parents definitely know you're lying about your post-prom plans. Yeah, I'm sure they really believe that you and your best friend are just going to have a sleepover... with each other...
13. Pretending you can actually walk in heels
This is probably one of the first times you have ever put heels on your feet, so you clearly have no idea what in the hell you are doing. You think it's all about the look, but it's actually all about the comfort -- a lesson you certainly learned the hard way.
14. Thinking an updo is a good choice (Spoiler: IT NEVER IS)
You ripped out multiple images of Blake Lively's hair and yet you still left the salon looking like Shirley Temple's poodle. Maybe that's because your local hairdresser isn't used to red carpets. You might not have learned that fact in time, but you won't forget when it comes time for your own daughter.
15. Thinking cut out dresses were formal attire
Save the best for last, always. DO NOT WEAR A CUT OUT DRESS. Why did no one tell you this before the purchase? Isn't that what friends are for? You will undoubtedly look back and question your sanity as you attempt to take a walk down memory lane.