It’s nearly impossible to not judge someone or something based on outer appearance.
Whoever came up with the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" was slightly unrealistic. Initially, we involuntarily judge based on the cover, but the smart ones get to know the inside before making decisions regarding whether to take or leave something.
Looks are important, but so is character. The right combination of both is what really makes a person sexy and magnetic — not only to potential lovers, but to pretty much every other person, too. These are the things that will stay with you long after beauty fades.
Follow these 10 steps to instantly increase your desirability:
1. Be Independent
This word gets thrown around so much that it’s likely some people may be confused about what it means. The 20-year-old girl who posts bathroom selfies from her job at Arby's, still lives at home and claims to be "independent" is probably mistaken. To be truly independent means having your own things — your own house, your own car — and being able to go out and chase anything you want.
It means not expecting a man or anyone else to take care of you or to pay for everything. It means being on your own and not dependent or stuck in a situation that's not good for you.
Plus, no man wants to be with a gold digger.
2. Have Your Sh*t Together!
The best thing a woman can have together is her sh*t. I'm not only talking about being financially independent, but finding your passion and living it, too. Having a successful career or seeking out entrepreneurship and having your own thing is a very desirable trait. Having confidence in your life and your career will also make you more desirable and in turn, less clingy.
When you know your worth, you won't let any man (or boy) destroy it. That kind of confidence is damn sexy.
3. Don't NEED To Be In A Relationship
If you're single, chances are, you're a victim of bad relationships or heartbreak. Sometimes, we cling to the idea that a relationship will fill whatever voids we have. When you're out there "looking for love," you will likely never find it and you will come off as desperate and needy. If this sounds familiar, get your priorities in order; there are much more gratifying and fulfilling things in life than having or getting a man.
The bottom line is having a partner should accentuate your life, not complicate or complete it. My motto is to never settle. Don't partner up just so you can have someone.
If you are comfortable and happy with yourself, you will attract the right people naturally.
4. Kick Deadlines To The Curb
Too many women believe their clocks are ticking. It’s important to stop putting timelines on when you "should" get married and when you "should” have kids. It will happen when the time is right, but most importantly, when YOU are right.
Work on yourself first and the rest will fall into place -- I promise. It always comes when you're not looking.
5. Stay Classy
Set standards for yourself and stay classy in every way, from how you dress to where you live, to what kind of car you drive to how you handle yourself after a few glasses of wine.
You don't want to be that chick who trips over herself and throws up in the corner after a crazy night of partying. And, you definitely don't want to be the girl who’s always at the club. That may be attractive to the guy who wants to bone you, but it probably wont make a man want to marry you.
Bottom line, hold yourself up to a high standard and expect nothing less from anyone else.
6. Don't Seek Attention
In other words, don't be thirsty. Let’s face it: Many women are so starved for attention that they’ll do anything for anyone who will give them the time of day. Many women measure self-worth by the number of likes and comments their photos yield. Ladies, this is NOT sexy.
It comes off as desperate and kind of pathetic. Measure your self-worth by personal success and love, not by double taps.
7. Be Compassionate
Be caring, loving and loyal. This is such an easy thing to do, but we are so stressed and irritable that often, we forget to be mindful of it. I'm pretty sure that none of us are intentionally selfish, bitchy or irrational. We simply get so caught up in seeking attention and possession that we forget how to love.
Learn to be more compassionate, caring and kind, but don't forget to stand up for yourself. It's all about keeping a healthy balance.
8. Don't Play Games
I don't believe in playing "the game." I think it's utter BS. Whatever you are feeling — good or bad — you need to express it. Tell it like it is. Ask for what you want. If you expect someone to be straight with you, you must be straight in return.
Remember, you get what you give. If you feel like you have to play games to keep up with certain people in your life, it just may be time to re-evaluate.
9. Be Open-Minded
Your way isn't always the right way or the best way. Be open to other people's opinions and experiences. You might learn a thing or two. Explore outside of familiar territory and expand your comfort zone.
Be adventurous; be spontaneous and go with the flow.
10. Know What You Want
In life and for dinner, be decisive. Know what you want and learn to express it. Make up your mind and say what you think. Don't let someone else decide your life for you. Be confident.
I know that some of these things won't come naturally, but stick to your guns and cultivate your life with consistency and practice.
Being awesome is hard work, but you can do it.