Men of the world, we know that deep down underneath that muscular, manly-man exterior, you are a soft little boy who just wants to build forts out of pillows and watch superhero movies in your underwear.
Sometimes you're really annoying and clueless, but other times, you do these adorable things that we ladies find both strange and precious. In fact, some of the more adorable things about you are also simultaneously some of the weirdest.
We also know that you hate being called adorable, but we love you for that, too.
Here are some of the strange things you do that we can't help but find endearing:
1. When you're kind of socially awkward
I don't care what any magazine says: If you ask to kiss me and stumble a little bit on your words, I will not only find it insanely cute, but you will definitely be able to kiss me.
Please don't worry about being suave when asking us for your phone number; we don't need you to be like Mr. Big or Casanova when hitting on us. You snatching our hands, looking us in the eyes and nervously uttering some huge line like, "So, I think you're, uh, really cool, and maybe we can, you know, hang out sometime?" is the key to our hearts.
2. When you zone out while staring at us
On the spectrum of dorky and cute, this leans way more towards cute. Sometimes you do this thing where you zone out completely while you're staring at us, to the point where you don't even notice that we noticed you looking.
After it takes a second for you to bounce back, we can't help but laugh at you. That was precious. Do it again.
3. When you accidentally drop a really impressive fact
Intelligence is undoubtedly sexy, but when it leaks out of your pores in a (seemingly) accidental moment, we are sold. We hate pretentiousness, but what we don't hate is you giving us a little lesson about some awesome historical moment or recent scientific discovery we hadn't known about before.
Plus, if you are casual about your fact dropping (emphasis on "we hate pretentiousness," dudes), it just makes you way sexier.
4. When you geek out over things
Am I the only person who finds it absolutely adorable when a guy obsesses over something, especially if the thing he is obsessing over is kind of weird? It shows he has passion and is unapologetically himself, and that is something I can't get enough of.
It's even cuter when you rant to us about it for a little bit and let us ask you questions about it. In fact, we enjoy fueling this fire of adorableness as much as possible by asking you to tell us that detail about which we can sense you really want to geek over, but feel too shy to do so.
The way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love is undoubtedly the best thing in the world. So what happens next in that Green Lantern comic book?! Does he die?
5. When you are holding a baby
This is the greatest thing ever because, as per the patriarchy and male and female stereotypes, it's a slightly unnatural sight. Nothing makes our heads scream, "I want to have your babies!" like seeing you hold a baby.
When a small child is cradled in your large man hands, we just freak out. In the least creepy and obsessive way (we promise!), we kind of imagine the type of dad you'd be, and that makes our little biological insides want you really bad -- really, really bad.
6. When you flex in a picture "by accident"
We're not stupid, guys: We can tell when you're flexing, even if it's subtle. But it's pretty damn cute when you try to pretend like we don't notice. We may even jokingly comment about how "buff" you are, which will probably make you flex even more.
It's actually cute when you make any slightly obvious attempt to impress us in general. The more obvious it is that you're trying really hard, the more adorable. That's the mantra. Keep it up, boys.
7. Your bromances
Nothing is cuter than a guy who has a best friend and is unashamed to tell the world about it, especially if he's been friends with the same guy(s) since childhood. Usually it's girls who obsess over their BFFs, but if a boy does it, it's adorable and it makes us want to get to know the friends better.
It's especially precious when your best friend makes fun of you in a way that I may not understand because it's usually followed by an embarrassing story about you from your grade school days, which is fantastic and just makes you even more precious.
8. When you grow a 5 o'clock shadow to hide your baby face
We know you're insecure about the fact that you think your cheeks are a little puffy and your skin is a little soft, so we find it so cute when you try to hide everything with facial hair.
We know you just want to appear tough, manly and intimidating, and while we'll let you have that, we'll also poke fun at how your beard looks. Because, you know, if your face is that infantile, your beard probably looks misplaced. Just kidding!
9. When you can't dance or sing, but try anyway
You know that guy at the party who's hanging out in the corner and moving slightly out-of-tempo to the song blasting from the speakers? He's teetering on the line between being confident and wanting to run out of the room, but he manages to stay anyway.
He's really trying, and it's adorable. I mean, sure, my ovaries won't object to a guy who can actually dance, but it gets exhausting keeping up with someone with that much rhythm. I'll have more fun making fun of you.
10. When your humor is extremely deadpan
If your humor has the perfect amount of dryness and deadpan-ness, you will go far. Give us a good one-liner -- maybe mumble it to yourself a little bit -- and we're sold. While we love a good corny joke, we love jokes that we would miss if we weren't listening carefully enough even more.
Basically, if we can't tell whether you're trying to be funny or actually making fun of us, you've succeeded.