We can all be supermodels, y'all. It's not even that hard or anything.
Victoria's Secret model Elsa Hosk recently laid out her food and fitness diary for StyleCaster, and, TBH, it sounds pretty doable.
On one particular day, the 27-year-old downed bacon and eggs for breakfast, a mozzarella and tomato panini with lentil soup for lunch and an impressive spread for dinner at The Greek including fried cheese, chicken skewers with rice pilaf and a potato, cucumber and feta salad.
Um, yeah, yes. All of that. Every day. Give it to me. I want to be runway sexy and suck down plates of hot cheese more than I want to breathe clean oxygen.
The model doesn't snack, so she makes sure her meals are big enough to tide her over until the next plate of pilaf or Juice Press smoothie.
To stay fit, Hosk trains with boxing coach Kwame Davis and opts for basketball over mindless cardio.
She doesn't work out to music, which sounds like a unique form of torture developed by terrorists to gain entry to the White House undetected, but to each his or her freaking own, I guess.
The 5-foot-10-inch Swede advises readers to “remember to exfoliate and moisturize,” as it is evidently a vital step in the supermodel transformation.
Let's face it, you don't want to play a sweaty round of basketball and polish off your third pan of fresh, cleansing bacon only to realize you still look like the cartoon witch from “Brave” who turns everyone into bears just because you missed one simple skincare step.
At no point does Hosk mention how large a role genetics play in a given individual's ability to be so drop-dead gorgeous that society as a whole stares agape like hungry cartoon animals.
Yet, I have faith if we all commit ourselves fully to the lifestyle, we're each only a four-day weekend away from walking down the runway of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show in string bikinis and massive pairs of wings, the breeze blowing gently through our thigh gaps.
Anyone interested in bursting the sweet bubble of this fantasy for me can kindly keep it to his or her damn self.
Let. Me. Have. This.
See you on the runway, Elsa girl!