You've finally decided to jump on the yoga craze. You've seen those hot girls post their peaceful-looking handstand pics on beaches and mountains, and you think it's time for you to get in on all the fun.
So, you went and bought a mat. You're walking into the studio, and all of a sudden, you realize you have no idea what you're getting into.
Here are 10 thoughts everyone has at his or her first yoga class:
1. “Where is an appropriate place to put my mat?”
Is it like your company parking lot? If I park in the wrong spot, will some senior-level yogi get all thrown off and upset?
2. “Class hasn't even started, and someone is doing poses. WTF?”
Because it only makes sense to warm up with a one-armed handstand while making a diamond with your legs. Yep, standard procedure.
3. “They told me to shut my eyes and breathe, but I feel like people are watching me.”
So, you not-so-casually open one eye, scan the room and catch someone's gaze. Not awkward at all.
4. “Why are my hands slipping everywhere?”
5. “I wonder how many drugs the people who created this music were on?”
There are drums, raindrops, piano chords and some kind of odd noise that may or may not have come from a human being.
6. “Ooh! I didn't know that muscle existed.”
Yep, and you're definitely going to know tomorrow when you can't lift your arms.
7. “Why can I hear every single soul in this room breathing?”
Darth Vader has officially entered the building.
8. “There's a 99 percent chance I'm going to fall on my face.”
Crow? You mean face-plant?
9. “I didn't think this was going to be so difficult.”
It's OK, neither does 80 percent of the population.
10. “Finally, I can just lie here in silence.”
As an avid yogi, I totally understand that going to your first class is intimidating. But, don't let that deter you from heading to a place of acceptance, peace and quiet.
Whether you're pushing your limits of balance and flexibility or just accepting the place your body is in that day, it's a great physical and mental exercise. As a complement to the list above, here is a corresponding list of advice for your first yoga class:
1. Put your mat anywhere.
But if you're feeling a little self-conscious, take a spot in the back. This way, you won't feel like everyone is staring at you.
2. Don't pay attention to what anyone else is doing.
The journey you're on is your own. Don't compare another person's 10th chapter to your first page.
3. Just close your eyes.
If someone is looking at you, I'm sure he or she is just appreciating the view.
4. Prevent your hands from slipping everywhere by putting more weight into your feet and squeezing your core.
5. Let the music take you to a place of peace and quiet.
6. If you're experiencing the strength of a muscle for the first time, listen to your body and modify as needed.
7. It's called Ujjayi breathing.
It's a breathing technique that's supposed to sound like the ocean (or Darth Vader). You'll get there, so don't worry.
8. Falling on your face means you tried, which is a hell of a lot more admirable than not trying.
You can't succeed or progress if you don't try.
9. Yoga is f*cking hard.
Between trying to accurately do the poses and get out of your head, it's more difficult than people think. So, thank yourself for trying it out. You're doing more than most.
10. This is called Savasana
Take this time to meditate. If my brain is polluted with issues I can't quiet, I envision erasing them off a chalkboard one at a time.
Go out and get your zen on. Don't be fearful of how it will go the first time because Rome wasn't built in a day.
You can't get to those cool handstand pics at sunset to post on Instagram unless you go practice. So namaste, bitches. Go get it.