How To Stop Complaining When You Don't Even Realize You're Being Negative
Imagine a day without any complaints, any form of negative thinking and any form of conversation revolved around criticism or protest. It sounds like a fantastic day. It would be centered on optimism and good thoughts. One would flow through the day with ease.
Being positive is autonomous and liberating. It is not naive. Positivity is a form of strength, leadership and emotional intelligence, to say the least.
So, why do people spend so much time nitpicking certain situations or other individuals? Why do they relive unwanted past moments over and over again? Why not let people do what they do, without talking about what they do?
Essentially, all complaining is doing is putting attention on the things we don't enjoy. It recaps the times we were frustrated, upset, confused and annoyed. It puts us in a negative mindset, which means we are ready to attract more situations to complain about. Until we learn to deviate from any lingering negativity, nothing will change.
It doesn't do any good to scrutinize details that were out of our control at the time they happened. In fact, it doesn't do us any good to scrutinize details unrelated to us in general.
If we were in control when a mistake happened – but we made the wrong move – mentally overplaying the scenario is ineffective. Instead of making your stomach turn repeatedly by regretting the lack of judgement in your decisions, learn to forgive yourself. Move on and be wholeheartedly better the next time.
Leaving the past in the past and re-evaluating what's important in the present moment allows us to grow awareness with regard to the way we're creating our lives. Our thoughts ultimately dictate the direction of our words, behaviors and quality of life. Knowing how to respond to situations is the key to happiness and eliminating complaining for good.
In a nutshell, complaining makes us feel like crap. It wastes our time. It'll help to do these things instead:
1. Walk away.
Perhaps the simplest way to avoid participating in a complaint session is by walking away from it. Take a beeline in the opposite direction if you know what you're about to walk into. Otherwise, politely excusing yourself from the conversation is equally suitable, and you might feel relieved that you did.
I bet we've all been there. We've been stuck amidst some venting peers or co-workers, so we feel obligated to chime in. We attempt to relate to others or to make the person feel better. Whether we're vocal about it or not, all of us have things going on in our lives.
Some of those things are good, and we're trying to work through the others. Being supportive is worthwhile. Extending a conversation with gossip or complaints is not.
2. Be productive.
Fighting off the urge to participate in whining is easy when you immerse yourself in something that will enable personal growth and alleviate unwanted stress down the road. The key is to set goals and dominate them.
When you have goals, it's hard to waste precious time spreading negative energy or complaining. You want to be productive instead.
3. Promote positivity.
Smile, think good thoughts and spread your joy everywhere you go. Eventually, people will catch on. Lighten the mood and be positive always.
You never know who's watching you or who you're inspiring. Life is too short to take too seriously.
4. Encourage the best in others.
Hearing someone complain is a great opportunity to chime in with constructive feedback. I'm convinced that when we truly believe better things are on their way, they show up.
Compliment your family, friends and co-workers. Help motivate them to greatness. Encouraging the best in others will not only make people feel good about themselves, but you'll also feel good about yourself.
5. Know what you want.
Plain and simple, knowing what you want is golden. It allows you to stay in your own lane. You can then put your blinders on to unwanted baggage.
You're working hard for what you want, so you won't let any pessimism set you back. Unfavorable situations end up being great experiences. They induce the changes needed on your end to make things better.
Words without action are meaningless. Complaining without the urgency to create change is meaningless. Don't be the person holding yourself back.
6. Be grateful.
Most situations, no matter how bad they seem at the moment, can always be worse. Be patient, stay grateful and wait for the silver lining to shine through as you move forward.
Eventually, you'll piece the puzzle together. Things will fall into place.