It's always super easy to point our fingers at people or situations that just seem to make our lives that much harder: this guy ghosted you, that person is causing so much traffic and your boss is an actual crazy person. We are so quick to rationalize the reasons our unhappiness simply just falls into the hands of others.
We are putting the blame on factors we have no control over, and this is making it harder for us to just get over it. We think to ourselves, “Ugh, if only this person wasn't such a moron. I would be so much happier."
What I'm starting to realize is this: Maybe it's not everyone else. Maybe it's me.
I finally took the time to literally and figuratively look at myself in the mirror and ask myself, "Why are you actually so miserable?" I became conscious of the things I was doing throughout my day, and I realized I am actively making my life worse. I am sabotaging my own happiness.
When I finally figured out that the only person I should be pointing my finger at is myself, I started asking myself simple questions. I think we all need to ask ourselves the following when we really just can't even:
1. Why are you being such a bitch?
No, but really. Why? Your mom literally didn't do anything to you. She just asked you what you want for dinner.
2. Do you really need to check that?
Who cares who viewed your Snap story? There's no reason for you to check that list a million times. You're acting like a crazy person over a picture of a coffee cup.
3. Will going to the gym actually kill you?
Just get up and go. Like Elle Woods has said, "Endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands."
4. Is it necessary to eat that?
Put down the cookies and drink some water. You're not even hungry. You just ate.
5. Why do you even care?
So, you got 65 likes on your Instagram post instead of 100. Get a damn grip. Are you 12?
6. Who do you actually think you are?
Let's get back to reality here. The world revolves around the sun or the moon or something. It definitely doesn't revolve around you.
7. What are you even freaking out about?
I guarantee your “Hi” instead of “Hello” text wasn't the reason he never responded. It might be because you're actually insane.
8. Do you really think that's about you?
Refer above: The world doesn't revolve around you.
Not every boy you ever hooked up with is going to subtweet you. Please relax.
9. Are you just doing it for attention?
Is it really necessary for you to favorite his tweet? You really don't even like him. Don't be that girl.
10. Why are you even doing it?
You contemplate getting into a small car accident every morning just so you can go into work late. Why are you even working there?
11. Do you think they actually care?
Before you decide to Instagram the picture of you with your running shoes on, ask yourself if anyone actually cares that you're going to go to the gym. The answer is "no."
12. How important is that?
If it's not important, then stop stressing. If it is, then get off the phone and get your work done.
13. Why are you crying right now?
If you're going to cry, no one will feel bad for you. Look: You don't even feel bad for you.
14. Are you OK?
If the answer is a big no, consider the future.
15. Will you be OK?
The answer is always "yes." This too shall pass. Never forget that.
16. Who f*cking cares?
So, you got ghosted. You should send him a thank you note because he just did you a favor.
17. Are you actually that petty?
Just get off social media.
18. Can you just calm the f*ck down already?
Seriously, homegirl. Breathe. The sky is not falling, and the world is still turning. Chill.
19. What are you so afraid of?
Do it. Just do it. (Thank you, Shia LaBoeuf.)
20. Why don't you just forget about it and start over?
When all else fails, put on your favorite sweatshirt, hop into bed and sleep it off. Things will be better the next day.
When we start to realize how actually crazy we are making ourselves, it is much easier to come back down to earth and realize that there is no reason to continue being miserable, social media hungry 20-somethings. We have our entire, amazing lives in front of us.
I know they say talking to yourself is a sign of craziness. But sometimes, you just need to have an honest talk with yourself.
You'll see how much happier you are when you start pointing fingers at yourself. You now have control of your own happiness, and it's time to enjoy it.