Redskins Defend 'Offensive' Trademark By Citing These Insane Brand Names

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Last year, the US Patent and Trademark Office canceled the Washington Redskins' trademark nickname.

This summer, a federal judge upheld that ruling.

Now, the case is being heard in front of a court of appeals, with the first chapter bringing the opening brief filed by the Redskins' legal team.

Basically, it appears Washington's legal strategy is to win back trademark protection by listing all the offensive, lewd companies that currently receive trademark protection despite their vulgar names.

So, without further ado, these are the beer, porn and clothing companies the Washington Redskins want to be held to the same standard as:

1. TAKE YO PANTIES OFF clothing 2. MIDGET-MAN condoms 3. DANGEROUS NEGRO shirts 4. REDNECK ARMY apparel 5. BOOTY CALL sex aids 6. PARTY WITH SLUTS 7. DUMB BLONDE hair products 8. SLUTSSEEKER dating services 9. DUMB BLONDE beer 10. BAKED BY A NEGRO bakery goods 11. DAGO SWAGG clothing 12. BIG TITTY BLEND coffee 13. RETARDIPEDIA website 14. JIZZ underwear 15. MILFSDOPORN.COM 16. GHETTO BOOTY 17. CAPITALISM SUCKS DONKEY BALLS 18. MURDER 4 HIRE 19. DIRTY WHOOORE CLOTHING COMPANY 20. CRACKA AZZ SKATEBOARDS 21. HOT OCTOPUSS anti-premature ejaculation creams 22. I LOVE VAGINA 23. REFORMED WHORES 24. LAUGHING MY VAGINA OFF entertainment 25. DICK BALLS

The cancellation of Washington's trademark protections wouldn't take effect until the appeal process is complete.

And even if the team was to lose the argument in front of the Supreme Court, they would still be able to attempt to gain trademark protection for "Redskins" under state law.

Citations: 'Take Yo Panties Off' defense: Redskins cite other protected products in trademark appeal (The Washington Post)