No matter how much we all agree Valentine's Day is a fake holiday invented by Hallmark, you should still probably get your significant other something.
Gift-giving is a delicate art, especially when it comes to the person you're dating. You don't want to be THAT girlfriend or boyfriend who buys a 99-cent card from Rite Aid the morning of the 14th.
Obviously, the best gifts come when you've known your partner for a long time and learned what he or she does and doesn't like. But, if you're new to the relationship or just at a loss this year, the totally real science of astrology is here to help.
All you need is your partner's birthday and this handy guide! And if you don't know your partner's birthday, then maybe your Valentine's Day gift should be getting to know him or her a little better.
(Note: I accept no responsibility if your partner doesn't like these gifts. Use your best judgement, people!)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The gift: breakfast in bed
Aquarians are pretty chill when it comes to getting presents, so no need to stress over getting them extravagant or complicated things. Your partner is the type to claim he or she doesn't buy into Valentine's Day, but deep down, he or she wants a lil' something just to know you care.
Breakfast in bed is the way to go for your Aquarius bae. You can even make it extra special with a heart-shaped egg in the basket.
Not waking up at your sweetie's place on Valentine's Day morning? Try making dinner instead!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
The gift: a framed photo of the two of you
Pisces are emotional and passionate, meaning they tend to read into every gift they receive. This might sound like a lot of pressure for you, but it's also a great opportunity to score some points with your partner.
A framed photo of you and your boo is the perfect gift because it's personalized and romantic. There's no need to get too mushy or sentimental with it. Just get your favorite pic of you two printed at Walgreens, and stick it in a simple frame. Let the photo do the talking!
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
The gift: sports/concert tickets
The thing about Aries is they usually get their partners the most perfect Valentine's Day gifts ever, which is very annoying for you mostly because it means you have to be on the top of your gift game in order to keep up.
If your significant other is a sports fan, go for tickets to a nearby game (basketball is in season now, right?). If he or she doesn't even know what sport is in season, opt for concert tickets instead. Aries would never buy these things for themselves, so it's up to you to treat them!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
The gift: fuzzy socks
Tauruses are materialistic in the sense they really love free stuff, but they're also not very picky. This is great news for you because it's sort of hard to go wrong here as long as you buy something.
Tauruses need to take time for themselves and relax, so a gift that helps your Taurus bae get comfortable would be a good choice. That's why my vote is for comfy pajamas or fuzzy socks. Just make the gift nice and soft, and a Taurus will be happy.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
The gift: jewelry/watch
Geminis want nice things they can show off at work to make their co-workers jealous. That's not a bad thing; your partner thinks you're really awesome and wants everyone else to think so, too.
In this case, it will be worth it to splurge for an elegant necklace or a nice watch. And if you're a little short for cash this month, try a DIY project.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
The gift: flowers and a love note
If your bae's a Cancer, you know he or she is a big softie at heart (even though you're never allowed to say that when you guys are out with friends). Cancers are private when it comes to their romantic relationships, so a good gift is something just you and your partner can share.
For this reason, a heartfelt love letter and a bouquet of flowers are great gifts for your boo. Telling your partner how much he or she means to you will go a lot further than any materialistic gift.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The gift: dinner at a fancy restaurant
Every other day of the year, you and your SO are conservative when it comes to money on meals, but Valentine's Day is the time to go all out. Even though Leos are great at being practical when they need to be, deep down they love to indulge.
So just this once, go all out, and make reservations at the nicest restaurant in town. Don't hold back on ordering, either: Get wine, appetizers, desserts -- the whole deal. Nothing will show your boo how much you care more than letting your partner eat his or her weight in lava cake.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
The gift: a book (but, like, a really GOOD book, ya know?)
Hear me out: Virgos love exercising their minds and learning new things. You probably already know this, since you're dating one. But they also regularly need alone time in order to decompress.
You might think a book is a lame Valentine's Day gift, but if you give the right one, your partner will really appreciate it. Don't just grab some random book at Barnes & Noble, obviously. Get a book you know your bae would be interested in to show you pay attention and care.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The gift: a night out dancing
You and your partner have both been super busy lately and haven't had much time to just enjoy each other. But, Libras thrive on the company of people they love, so use this Valentine's Day as a way to reconnect.
For a Libra, the best gift you can give is quality time together. Dancing is the perfect activity for this because it involves being completely focused on your partner. And I'm not talking about grinding in the club, either. Get adventurous and try some old-fashioned swing or tango.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The gift: a scarf (like, a nice one!)
Scorpios never waste money buying things for themselves, even if they have the cash to spare. This can definitely be a source of frustration when you're dating a Scorpio, so use the holiday as an excuse to push some actual nice clothes on your boo.
Go for a nice scarf -- something fancy but durable -- because you know he or she will probably never get a new scarf again unless you buy him or her another one.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
The gift: homemade treats
Sagittarius partners aren't hard to please, as long as you're always truthful and sincere with them. The gifts a Sagittarius values most are the simple kind that come from the heart.
In this case, homemade treats are the surest way to your boo's heart. Find a subtle way to figure out your bae's favorite dessert, and then dedicate a few hours in the kitchen to it. And the best part is this is a gift you can both indulge in.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
The gift: a professional massage
Capricorns are driven and responsible, which is cool and all, but they also really need to chill the f*ck out. When you're dating a Capricorn, sometimes, it's up to you to make sure bae takes a break every now and then.
A gift certificate for a professional massage is something your Capricorn partner would never get for him or herself, which is why it's the perfect thing to give this Valentine's Day. And you'll definitely benefit when bae stops taking all that pent up stress out on you.