Mail Damaged By Actual Snails Redefines Snail Mail
I've been racking my brain trying to think of the last time I actually mailed something.
It had to have been my taxes, right? Otherwise, the IRS would burst through my window right now SWAT-style and slam my head on this very keyboard I'm speaking to you from.
I'm actually putting off getting my absentee ballot, not because I don't want to vote, but because I don't know where a mailbox is to send in the paperwork.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't rely heavily on snail mail. Most of my communication is through email and smoke signals.
The postal service is run like a finely tuned machine, for the most part. I'm not bashing it.
Of course, that said, things do pop up that can delay or damage your mail as well. It's rare, but it happens.
For instance, it happened to this Redditor.
So the snail mail was delayed by actual snails...
This being Reddit, it naturally progressed into a series of puns, which included "A nice change of pace perhaps, postal workers hardly get the chance to come out of their shells" and "I used to think my mailman operated at a sluggish pace, but then I realized escargot stuck."
Who knew snails even liked the taste of that particular glue? I did, because I know a lot of snail facts, and they are so good to hear. Would you like to know more about snails?
Okay then, follow me to knowledge!
Isabella Rossellini explains,
If I were a snail, I would have one big slimy foot. I would twist my body to fit inside my shell... My foot would end up at the bottom, allowing me to crawl. My anus would end up on top of my head... unfortunately.
Truly a beautiful species! Of course, you probably didn't want to learn so much about snails. It is a lot to take in.