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16 People Reveal Whether You Should Ask A SO's Dad For Permission To Marry

by Taylor Ortega

Feb. 17, 2016

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Plenty of aspects of marriage seem antiquated to members of modern American society.

Things like dowries, abstinence and traditional vows have fallen by the wayside for many contemporary couples, but, for some, the practice of “asking for her hand” persists.

As an unmarried woman, the idea of my boyfriend asking my parents' permission to marry me, as if I'm a ski jacket he's borrowing for a weekend trip upstate, is unsettling.

It seems to perpetuate the notion a woman is property first owned by her parents and then traded over to the man who graciously chooses to take her off their hands.

Still, securing the in-laws' blessing remains an important step for many lovebirds before committing to each other for eternity.

Recently, redditor deja_vuduu asked fellow users,

Guys who are considering marriage, will you ask her/his father first? Why or why not?

Plenty of users consider the tradition too outdated to be taken seriously.

Comment from discussion Guys who are considering marriage, will you ask her/his father first? Why or why not?.

Others, however, decided it would only serve to make their marriages run more smoothly.

Comment from discussion Guys who are considering marriage, will you ask her/his father first? Why or why not?.

For most, it depends on the significant other. Did he or, more likely, she explicitly request you have his or her parents' blessing before proposing? If so, go for it.

Otherwise, respect the unease your partner feels at the idea of being commodified, and bond with his or her family with a game of Apples to Apples instead of an outdated conversation.