Aw hey, bebes. How ya doin'?
Your entire body and every corner of your tender brain is probably feeling a little banged up today, and you know what? That's OK.
Yesterday, St. Paddy's Day, ravaged everyone's liver and left committed drinkers wondering if they're actually dead now and the afterlife is just a slightly sh*ttier version of their earthly existences.
Some of you might still be drunk.
Some of you might be struggling with brutal hangovers.
0% Irish 100% Hungover — Adam Hunter Dawkins (@Adz_Dawkins) March 18, 2016
Most of you probably have responsibilities to which you're bravely holding yourselves accountable.
You're all going to make it through today, and when you do, your loved ones will be waiting on the other side to get you drunk on Saturday so you can repeat this beautiful ballet of dehydration and regret on Sunday.
May you each successfully avoid loud noises and bright lights. Godspeed.