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These Are The Expectations For Penis Size, According To Different Places

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I have news, teeny peenies!

Do women care about penis size? That is a question literally every man you will ever meet Googles at least once every eight months. It's the one common curiosity that baffles men -- aside from who Rita Ora is and the difference between flan and rice pudding.

This, of course, always leads to an overemphasis on whether or not one's penis is up to snuff. It's the one thing all men are at least a little self-conscious about.

I feel entirely comfortable making the untested yet 100 percent true statement that all men at one point or another do three things:

1) Measure their peens. 2) Look at their peens in the mirror, doing front views and profile poses. 3) Try to wear their penises like a mini wrist watch, and then ask their girlfriends if it's "daylight SHAVINGS time."

Every male does those three things.

But, how does all this trouser checking mess with the male psyche and perceived manhood numbers?

As it turns out, not THAT much.

Thanks to a study by DrED.com using 2,121 subjects, it turns out men's and women's penis perceptions weren't far off from the global average of 13.12 centimeters (about 5.2 inches) when erect.

First off, men think they need slightly longer underwear bolognas than women think they do.

DrEd.com

People in Poland think everyone has a massive POLE to LAND on women, and the UK is just happy to be included in the conversation.

DrEd.com

In the US, people in Maine tend to think men have rockin' pole-a-roonies...

DrEd.com

...which tends to kind of be a self-fulfilling train of thought.

DrEd.com

Seriously, someone check on the UK.

DrEd.com

UK, you all right buddy?

DrEd.com

Anyway, most dudes are totally OK with their dong sizes...

DrEd.com

...but that doesn't mean men are out of the droopy, droopy woods just yet.

DrEd.com

Here's the most important chart.

DrEd.com

So, don't worry! Your front-side body-basement baby rocket is probably doing fine!

Citations: Does Penis Size Matter? New Survey Of Men And Women Worldwide Reveals All (Huffington Post), Does Size Matter? (DrEd.com)