The sloppy hijinks of a one-night stand are staples of the stage, screen and sitcom for a reason: They can take a wrong turn into Awkward City fast.
As entertaining as it is to watch ONS disaster scenarios play out for our entertainment, living through the excruciating self-consciousness and social anxiety in real time with a veritable stranger can be less fun.
Redditor holyshyeet asked the men of Reddit,
What are etiquettes of one-night stands?
One-night-stand culture, as it turns out, is just as rules-y as every other social interaction, despite its casual appearance. Luckily, minimal effort leaves everyone involved a lot more comfortable and satisfied.
Be upfront and no partner can fault you for leading him or her on like a jackass.
Make some nonchalant conversation. Hint: Almost everyone likes sandwiches. Start there!
If you're an adult -- and not a teenager with a beard and a fake ID cruisin' for some local strange -- stock your home with some simple amenities.
Show a little enthusiasm.
Just, like, check first.
Treat your sex guest like he or she is in first class and you're a flight attendant for a reputable airline.
Know when to pretend you have an important business work meeting for your job career. Sounds real, right?
Throw down for some cab fare. While you wait for the cab to arrive, talk about how great Uber is. So not awkward!
Keep it honest, warts and all. Literally, though.
Do everything transamination says.
What are you even waiting for, though? Get out there, and have sex with a stranger! Eye contact is optional but encouraged.