Kids say the darnedest things. But did you also know they ask for the darnedest things on their Christmas lists?
Well, thanks to some hero parents on the internet, now you do.
In an attempt to help make 2016 at least a little bit more bearable, people have been sharing pictures of their kids' Christmas lists and I honestly can't handle any of it.
Level with me, guys: How should I be feeling about these lists? Maybe you can help me decide.
They're a mixture of hilarious, heartbreaking and straight-up scary.
We're going to jump in with this Christmas list obviously written by a future serial killer.
Yeah, can we talk about this item, in particular, please?
He also requested "cologne" to mask the scent of other people's blood and a "new home" to hide the bodies, I'm assuming.
How about this sad-looking wish list consisting of one "iPad case," "lots and lots of glue" and "friends." :(
I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND, LITTLE BUDDY.
Then there's the honor-roll student in the making who's dying for a "new Bible" and "world peace."
Please and thank you.
How about this dude? He wants a drone and Calvin Klein underwear (and not necessarily in that order).
Hats off to Lois, whose refreshing list doesn't include anything with a tiny "i" in front of it.
Who'd have thought "Goosebumps" would still be cool by now?!
Bailie handing out specific orders to the big man like:
Got that, Kris?
Meet Jacob. He has anger issues and a Pokémon fetish -- a dangerous combination.
Sorry to whomever his mother is.
Then there's this casserole of letters where the only thing I can make out is a "witch mask."
Are my eyes broken, or is this the new Da Vinci Code?
Break out the tissues for the little guy whose house got burgled and now he wants CCTV.
I also respect his love of ninjas.
This kid wants nothing more than an aquarium. Is that really too much to ask?
Let's make it happen, elves.
Either this is some new fad I'm too old to know about, or one very confused child.
Or both. Probably both.
Oh, snap! This kid sacrificed valuable wish list space for a joke at grandma's expense.
Brody's all about the small talk.
And we can totally relate.