If you got a free condom at The Kasbah nightclub this week, THROW THAT SHIT AWAY RIGHT NOW.
Trust me: You don't want to use it.
Before you freak out, I'm not here to tell you to stop using condoms. In fact, I'm a huge condom advocate. I believe in safe sex.
What I will tell you, though, is the condoms that were given away at the Coventry-based nightclub during freshman week might leave you either with child or infected with an STI.
According to Metro, the nightclub handed the promotional condoms out during their "fresher's week" celebration for students of the University of Warwick and Coventry University.
Seems like a good idea, right? Condoms are pretty useful for incoming freshmen.
But they'd be even MORE useful if they actually worked.
City health officials deemed that the condoms were potentially unsafe because they didn't display any required safety markings, like expiration dates or batch numbers.
Here's a picture of one, just in case you're curious about what a promotional nightclub condom looks like:
Did you notice that itty bitty disclosure at the bottom of the logo? It reads, "NOT RECOMMENDED FOR USE."
Why in the world would you give away a condom that isn't recommended for use? WHY?
It's like giving a dog a steak and telling him not to eat it. IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
The nightclub used this disclosure as an argument when it was confronted.
Many confused people questioned these actions on Twitter:
As you can see, the nightclub tried to defend the unsafe condoms by stating "most uni students can read."
What's the point, though? If anything, the nightclub lost money by buying promotional condoms that the students couldn't even use.
Let's cross our fingers that not too many students went home from these fresher's week celebrations with lovers of some sort. Or at the very least, if they did, let's hope they had a Trojan or two on hand.