Here's an unpopular opinion: Winter can gobble on one of my fair-weather, springtime, non-frostbitten poops for all I care.
JK, everyone feels this way. YOU HEAR THAT, WINTER?! YOU CAN CHOW DOWN ON ALL OUR PERFECTLY TEMPERATURED, 98.6-DEGREE DOODIES!
Nobody likes winter. I don't understand why the government hasn't figured out a way to make sure winter doesn't happen ever again.
If we all spent half the amount of money we spend on giving old dudes the ability to get boners and like a third of the US defense budget, we 100 percent could perfect a technology to make sure no one has to go outside in the cold ever again.
“But we have coats! Why can't we just wear coats?” one might ask.
COATS ARE BANDAGES ON THE GAPING WOUND THAT IS WINTER.
Would you just throw a bunch of paper towels on top of a gunshot wound?! NO! So, why in God's name do you think a coat is a rational response? COME ON, DUDE.
OH, ALSO, THE WHOLE WORLD IS SUFFERING, AND YOUR FRIENDS ALWAYS WANT TO GO OUT! WHAT THE EFF IS WITH THAT?!
Do they not see the planet turned into a giant ice ball?! WHAT IS THAT??!
These memes properly express my anger at the thought of going outside during the winter.
1. Asking to hang out while winter is happening is a CRIME.
2. We're all this pug. This pug is all of us.
3. Fatality. Finish him, wind.
4. I just poked a hole through my shirt. Does that give you an idea of how cold it is?
5. Bob gets it. Be like Bob.
6. All men must buy balaclavas.
7. I'LL GO OUTSIDE WHEN THE OUTSIDE AGREES IT'S BEING A FART BURGER.
8. NOPE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
9. Other girls are the weird ones, girl! You do you!
10. I wish death upon the house of winter.
11. Does insurance cover my rock-hard nips carving a chunk out of your car?
12. *Mic drop.* *Mic gets frozen to ground when you go to pick it up.* *You leave the mic there until spring.*
13. It's pure, clean hell.
14. I GIVE UP.
15. In the winter, your lips turn into old corduroy.
16. Just accept it. It's going to be a long few months.
I hate winter! #snuggle #wrappedup pic.twitter.com/d1wsHCo6k9 — Donna (@__Ice_Princess_) November 23, 2015