This Is How You Should Go Down On A Woman, According To Porn Stars (Video)

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Thank God for porn stars.

Without them, lady-lovers would not have a tutorial to teach them everything there is to know about oral sex.

The attached video is worth five minutes of commitment for a lifetime of satisfied sex partners, but I compiled the major bullet points for the lazy reader.

1. Treat her vagina like shellfish.

2. Squeeze some lemon on her… just… anywhere.

3. Spit on it.

4. Cough on it.

5. Scratch it.

6. Grab her by her shell.

7. Don't blink.

8. Throw up.

9. Sing.

10. “Smash her like a whoopee cushion.”

Eat responsibly, Don Juans and Donna Juanitas.