BREAKING NEWS: Dudes want food and blowjobs.
Life is unfair for dudes. I mean, just think about it! Women have flowers and chocolate, but what do men really have?
Yes, sure, men get paid more for jobs than their female counterparts, have held every US presidency, are able to legally drive cars in every country, have the ability to walk down the street without being harassed on a regular basis, maintain the right to vote in every country, don't have to worry about the US government defunding Planned Parenthood, are the CEOs in the vast majority of institutions and companies and essentially dominate the media industry.
But, like, aside from those things, what do men REALLY have? What little gifts do you give the male in your life that are the Y-chromosome equivalent to a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates and a viewing of "The Notebook"?
Thanks to a Reddit thread asking this exact question, I have a wide array of answers including everything from blowjobs to food to getting blowjobs after eating food.
1. This guy wants a blowjob.
2. This guy wants food.
3. This guy wants a blowjob.
4. This guy wants a blowjob and alcohol.
5. This guy wants food.
6. This guy wants food, a blowjob and rest.
7. This guy wants a watch?
8. This guys wants a blowjob.
9. This guy wants way too much stuff.
This should make your holiday shopping a lot easier this year, ladies.