10 Guys Confess The Most Blatant Lies They Told Women To Get Laid

I'm a woman.

Growing up, I was warned more than once men will do just about anything for sex, including misrepresent themselves (aka stretch the truth, aka alter expectations, aka lie like dirty gutter people).

When I joined the ranks of cool sex-havers, I learned everyone puts forth an ideal version of himself or herself in an effort to get laid by someone whom they consider to be an ideal sex partner.

But how far is too far? At what point does a slight misrepresentation begin to interfere with the other person's ability to properly consent to sex in the first place?

Redditor lipsmackers asked fellow users (who, despite admittedly being liars to varying extents, were boldly honest in this thread),

What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?

The sexual lie gamut, as it turns out, is a large one.

FACT #1: This man lacks a half-inch of torso length.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #2: His dad is NOT Fusajiro Yamauchi.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #3: This guy never accidentally peed a little in his space suit.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #4: Lady, you may have committed a crime.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #5: Even in a parallel universe, he's already gone.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #6: He never won a poetry-slam battle at an environmental rally.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #7: He loves sandwiches. List ends there.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #8: His mom is a gift from heaven above who once dressed up as Megazord for his fifth birthday party out of sheer love.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #9: Altering consensual acts to include any sexual surprises not previously agreed upon is rape, so the fake astronaut guy is starting to look pretty good right now, tbh.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

FACT #10: This guy -- oh, wait, he's refreshingly sane. He should have it. He wins it. He wins the sex.

Comment from discussion What's the biggest lie you've told to a girl to get laid?.

Congratulations, bachelor number 10. Your transparency is way sexier than any fake Nintendo fortune or trumped-up mommy issues.