Most of us would like to think, in the face of crimes, we'd do the right things: respond, rescue and run away from factory explosions in slow motion with armfuls of kittens, babies and sensitive government documents.
UK-based writer Joe Craig thought so, too.
Tuesday evening, instinct met opportunity, and come Wednesday, the East Finchley resident was ready to share his story.
Buckle up, folks, for a crime story of epic proportions.
But wait, there's more.
Poor Harpo, who is so adorable he'll make your brain explode from oxytocin overload. He was just trying to follow his natural traveler instincts.
One of these days, this c*ck-blocking duo will get the chance to stop crime in its tracks.
Until then, the two will have to beware of sex trunks.