It's not every day you get into a fight with a bear. So, when you recount the story, you're going to ham it up for effect.
But the weird thing about this one is, I fully believe every word Rick Nelson is saying. He just gives a very, very odd interview.
The 61-year-old was out walking his dog in Sudbury, Canada, on Sunday afternoon, when he stumbled across a bear cub and spooked it. So, its mother charged.
Now, read the interview he gave to CBS News. It's as close to that bear scene in "The Revenant" as we're going to get in real life. For context, Rick says he's a former bear hunter.
I knew right away I was in trouble. It's calling for mommy. The mother was coming full speed. All you could hear was the bush crashing. I had no rocks, no sticks.
So far, it sounds pretty normal, right?
Rick swung for the bear and smashed it in the teeth. Yes, the TEETH: the bear's only weakness. He continued,
I knew it would swing first with its left but it would really come with its right because most bears are right-handed.
Are they? This is news to us, Rick.
Now, it was the moment of truth. What's this bear going to do? Is it going to follow its cub or is it going to come after me? It turned around and it was snorting blood. It looked at me, and I thought, 'Oh no. Here it comes.' But it just turned back around and walked away like nothing ever happened and followed the cub.
Oh, that was an anti-climax. And so are the pictures. He concluded with this piece of wisdom:
Black bears really aren't dangerous unless you have a cub involved. So sometimes black bears get a really bad rap. I'm really glad that the bear walked away. And I'm really glad I did too.
We're really glad you chose to spare its life too, Rick. Never change.