Gorilla In London Escaped And Chugged 5 Liters Of Syrup
Kumbuka > Harambe...
Earlier this year, America and the rest of the world got behind Harambe, a gorilla who was shot after a child fell into its cage.
Memes happened, a debate on whether this was the appropriate response waged across the media and Harambe slowly went from a zoo animal to a national hero.
If you liked Harambe I strongly suggest you reconsider moving your allegiance over to Kumbuka.
Harambe doesn't have jack shit on Kumbuka, a London gorilla who escaped his cage and proceeded to chugged a buttload of syrup.
If Harambe is your well-to-do humble martyr, Kumbuka is your super fun frat bro who wakes you up at 3 am, completely drunk, because he found a bunch of fireworks behind an Arby's and wants to blast them off at a stop sign near the house.
This statement from Zoological Society of London's zoological director Professor David Field reads better than the screenplay for "Old School":
Kumbuka was called into his private night quarters for his dinner at around 5.10pm on Thursday 13th October. Unfortunately the door to his den had not been properly secured and a secondary security door had not yet been locked. We've since established that Kumbuka made an opportunistic escape from his unlocked den into the staff-only service corridor where a zookeeper was working. Staff raised the alarm that triggered our standard escape response, while Kumbuka briefly explored the zookeeper area next door to his den, where he opened and drank five litres of undiluted blackcurrant squash.
Later, the zoo went on to say,
Within two hours Kumbuka was back with his family, snacking on treats, and probably wondering what all the fuss was about.
Undiluted blackcurrant squash is like British syrup, by the way. Think those Mio squirt bottles, but with a cool accent and a reverence for Manchester United.
The Internet is obviously having a pretty good time with Britain's most popular and most literal party animal.
Long live Kumbuka.