Maybe if the entire human race ignores Friday the 13th the way we ignore ghosts, responsibility and Raven-Symoné, the quasi-holiday will lose its power over us.
Unfortunately, our chance to put that plan into action today already slipped through our fingers as Twitter users are letting the darkness swallow them whole.
Thanks, Addie. That's great advice.
Honestly, I don't need your realistic perspective right now, thanks.
Buck up, Monica. There are always tornadoes.
Again, great advice.
PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME.
If I die, will you investigate my murder, Detective Tutuola?
Dare to dream, girl.
Jamie Lee Curtis said she's available if your mom has to work.
What else is new.
Oh, right… Life is terrible, always.
It's possible to celebrate both, you know.
Never ever let anyone tell you what you can or can't achieve.
FYI: Get used to it, bitches.
We're all probably going to die, so prep your tombs with pizza and a Netflix account for the afterlife.