Yeah, yeah, whatever. But look me in the eyes and tell me there isn't a tiny part of you that wants to view this video. You know you'd be lying.
Let's set the scene: It's vacation time, and the girls have gone away to soak up the sun and let loose.
So, we're somewhere exotic. You see a pool and some loungers scattered around a plush-looking villa.
But this video opens like the first chapter of a book. It begins with a dialogue between characters, and you're thrown into the middle of the story straight away.
There is no time to prepare for what's about to come.
On one lounger is a woman shouting out in agony and writhing around in pain.
She takes a sip of Fireball...
... and looks far too nervous for someone who's meant to be on vacation.
This is why: There's a mammoth pimple on her back, and the girls have seen it. LOOK AT IT.
Once they spotted it, believe me: Nothing was going to shut them up until they'd had their way with it.
So, they convinced her popping it would be a great idea. (Um, would YOU trust this woman?!)
The girls apply some sort of solution to the spot. (It's probably more Fireball.)
THEN, KAPOW: an almighty and endless jet of brown pus escapes her body.
Unholy. Be gone, evil spirit.
Why is it so brown? And so long? How many months do you think that's been there for?
So many questions, all of which do not need to be answered.
If you've made it this far, congratulations: No one said it was going to be easy. Are you ready for your prize?
It's a video of the whole darn episode because you're obviously freaky and into that sort of thing.