If you've logged on to Facebook this week, and looked beyond your friend's new engagements, babies and your racist uncle's 'Merica memes, then you've probably watched your "Year in Review."
Personally, mine was full of selfies that did not perform well. I had a lackluster amount of "likes," guys. Honestly, what am I paying my friends for?
I assume you've had a more eventful year than I did, and I hope that you've had more moments where you said, "Aww, I remember that," than the "Oh, God. Yeah. That happened..." moments.
But there's something hidden in your "Year in Review," and it's the amount of reactions you doled out in 2016.
Just click here and scroll down past the video to see how many likes, angry faces, hearts, etc. you gave to your Facebook friends.
Personally, I'm not very active on Facebook anymore as I have no one to impress, but here's mine:
Apparently, I've liked 493 things, which is weird because I hate everything.
One thing shocked me to my very core.
And only one thing left me a blubbering mess on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably into my still-frozen Lean Cuisine for one.
Based on these numbers, I bestow a reaction upon my humble fanbase about 1.4 times a day -- and I guarantee you most of those "likes" come from Drunk Hope.
OH, YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR HAPPY ENGAGEMENT. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH -- I am going to die alone.
Low-key, I'm waiting to figure out how Facebook could use this information for evil.
Next, they're going to tell me how long I stared at a picture of someone before I realized where I actually knew them from.
Maybe they'll inform a crush how many more likes I give to them over everyone else.
Or worse... perhaps they'll tell some exes that I stalked them most of all... Yes, 2017 may be a dark time, friends.