Preach, Bisha! Preach!
London comedienne Bisha K Ali's takedown of the contradictory way women are treated reads less like a think piece and more like a modern-day Gettysburg Address by letting society know the insane double standards women are subjected to from early ages.
Beyoncé needs to sing a cover of this post. Just lay down a music track and use those God-given pipes to do the words in this post justice, Beyoncé.
Summer was over like two months ago, but I guarantee if Yoncé makes a track of this article, it will become 2015's song of the summer.
Try to not give this piece a standing ovation after you finish it.
“You're so adorable! You're gonna be a heartbreaker one day. Your daughter's so well behaved. Aren't you pretty? If you... Posted by Bisha K. Ali on Monday, October 12, 2015
Bisha starts the post by covering the inherent contradictions girls are faced with from early ages. She writes,
You're so adorable! You're gonna be a heartbreaker one day. Your daughter's so well behaved. Aren't you pretty? If you give me a smile I'll give you an extra one too. Do you like princesses? Girls aren't ghostbusters, they're princesses! You don't like princesses? Aah you're a tomboy, that's cool too. Tomboys are always popular with the boys, but for the wrong reasons. If you want to get a boyfriend you're better off not being a tomboy. Aren't you a little young to be dating? Are you really going to wear that outfit? You'll give people the wrong idea.
She later goes on to show how hypocritical the idea of slut-shaming is by saying,
Why don't you show off some skin? Dress a little nicer, that way you'll be able to find someone. No one's gonna notice you dressed like that. Never on a first date. What do you mean you don't feel ready, this is the third date? Frigid bitch. You f*cked him on a first date? What a slut. Have you seen how she dresses? She's begging for attention.
She then takes on the problems women face with employment...
You can't dress like that for work, too much leg and too much cleavage. You're dressed inappropriately. 'Aaah I'm so hungover, I got wasted last night and went home with this fit bird but I didn't even get her name, haha.' Your outfit is distracting in the workplace. You're gorgeous, I can't believe you don't have a boyfriend!
Congratulations on your engagement, do you think you'll take his name? It's traditional, some traditions are just nice to keep up. You're not changing your name to his, are you? Aren't you an independent, freethinking woman?
…and having children.
You don't want kids? But being a mother is part of being a woman. A family isn't complete without children, I have no idea why you wouldn't want kids. You're pregnant! That's amazing. Did you plan it? Are you going to carry on working? So you're going to be a stay-at-home [mom], huh? A housekeeper? Yeah they say it's a 'full-time job.' You're having a kid but you're going to carry on with your career? Yeah, good luck with that.
Thorough. Cutting. Accurate.
Bisha is the queen. Bow down.