One of the best things about Amazon isn't free 2-day shipping or even "Transparent." It's the reviews. Some reviews are funny, some poetic, while others are opuses to American consumerism itself. And in a few rare cases, the best reviews help you discover new purposes for items you otherwise would never have imagined yourself.
Such is the case with this epic review of the OptiSex Romantic Fantasy Swing Kit by Arran Webb:
Who knew sex swings aren't just awesome birthday presents for the swingers in your life? Now it's just a matter of time before you see Petco advertising the same product as a jumbo dog washing hammock.