College is a magical time when adolescents struggle to evolve into adults and learn useful lessons in and out of the classroom.
Living among peers teaches students to watch out for flying dildos and keep homeless dudes out of their mac 'n' cheese stash.
Still, college is a time of trial and error.
Redditor rielephant asked fellow users to share "the craziest thing you ever witnessed in your dorm/residence hall" and several scholars' stories reached new levels of absurdity.
"...every single floor wanted to murder them."
Lesson learned: Ask before you jam.
"...a (clearly) homeless guy... was just chillin, eating my f*cking mac n cheese and playing PS3."
Lesson learned: Watch out for Bones Justice.
"...making [girls] get dressed in the hall in front of whomever was around."
Lesson learned: Keep your clothes (and shoes) on during sex.
"In his hand was an already crackling taser."
Lesson learned: Craig is the f*cking man.
"...dressed in full Spider-Man regalia."
Lesson learned: Spider-Man doesn't have his degree.
"One guy peed on a cookie sheet and let it freeze..."
Lesson learned: Don't make enemies with an evil genius.
"...we waited until the detective came in... with the dildo in hand."
Lesson learned: There is a woman somewhere out there with a dildo scar.
"She was squatting over my roommate's pillow... "
Lesson learned: Wrap your bedding in plastic.
"It sounded like humpback whale songs..."
Lesson learned: Use your indoor voice.
"...he had a homoerotic dream about his roommate being a painting satyr."
Lesson learned: This is Ron's world. We're just living in it.