I don't understand why dudes are this baffled when their unsolicited mobile penis portraits are met with anything less than standing ovations and gift certificates to Outback Steakhouse.
There are three main rules when it comes to sending dick pics.
Rule #1: DON'T SEND A DICK PIC UNLESS THE PERSON ASKS TO BE SENT ONE.
Rule #2: Make sure your lighting is OK and take the shot from a flattering angle.
Rule #3: SERIOUSLY, DON'T SEND A DICK PIC UNLESS THE PERSON ASKS TO BE SENT ONE.
Someone relay these words to this moron in these texts DudeComedy uncovered.
This is a butt-ton of emoji. This guy is CLEARLY apologizing for something.
OH! That's why! Because he's an idiot!
NO! WHAT?!?! WHY!?!?! Did you really think sending her a picture of your dick was going to make her reevaluate her current situation and find something happy to hang on to?
I hope she dumps you. We ALL hope she dumps you.