As I'm sure you're all aware, since no one who smokes weed will shut up about it, today is 420.
In other words, today is the day stoners everywhere blaze it and praise it.
Personally, I love high people.
High people are so fun to talk to, because no high person ever wants to talk about boring things like work or family or a significant other who lives out of state.
I will gladly take conversations with people who are stoned out of their minds over small talk, any day. No doubt those people will have something either amazingly brilliant or amazingly stupid to say. Either way, I'm happy.
Like many, though, I am at work today and not (I assume) surrounded by hilarious stoners. In times like these, we must turn to Twitter to get our fix of high-wisdom on this holiday.
My personal favorite brand of stoner deep thoughts: irony and word play.
Secia G brings up a concerning fact about Smurfs.
Yeah, Billy, what's up with that? You don't have the answers, Billy Joel!
David makes an excellent point about "fat chance" versus "slim chance."
My man Ed must've been doing bong rips since 5 am, because dude is GONE.
How come nobody asks why those birds are so angry?
Michael's really struggling to understand how different shapes can exist in the same vicinity.
Good question, Theresa. I bet glass blowers probably can blow a mean Bubblicious bubble.
Another great question, which I will counter with a question. How come you don't have a tail?
OK, this guy is just spitting straight truth about ketchup.
This is just a legit question I've had for years. I would love to eat bagel holes.
And this is what I actually sound like when I'm high.
Happy 420, ya filthy stoners! Blaze responsibly!