Layla Taylor Wants Mormon Women To Be More Open About Sex

Layla Taylor may be 23 years old and single, but her life looks pretty different from other women her age. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star got married at 19, facing pressure from the Mormon church after getting pregnant by her then-boyfriend. They had two children together before splitting three years later — and now, postdivorce, the newly minted reality TV personality is freer and happier than she’s ever been.

Viewers meet Taylor as she navigates dating and sex as a newly single mom. She throws a party to celebrate her divorce and confides to the friend group that she’s never had an orgasm. Though she may not have a typical early 20s trajectory, Taylor is proud of where she’s ended up. “I think all the time about what my life would look like if I didn’t move to Utah and get married young,” she says. “I don’t think I would be the person I am today at all.”

Taylor’s unfiltered honesty and liberated attitude about sex and divorce have made her a fan favorite on the show. Here, she talks to Elite Daily about dating in the Mormon religion and why she wants to break the stigma around pursuing pleasure.

Elite Daily: You’re recently single and dating for the first time since you were a teenager. What’s it like dating in your faith community versus the secular world?

Layla Taylor: It’s different in Utah. We’re not supposed to have sex before we’re married. Many people don’t drink or smoke, so the party scene isn’t huge. But I like it because when you take out the things that make relationships more superficial and take away hookup culture — which some people still participate in; I’ve done my fair share of it — I think you can form better relationships.

ED: No sex before marriage is considered the norm, but as you mentioned, some people still choose to do it. Does that feel like something you have to keep secret?

LT: Some people tend to hide it, then there are people like me who are open about it. It’s hard, being a young single adult who lives on her own and has been married before, to go without having sex at all. I feel like I’m not capable of that, and I can speak for a lot of people that it’s a very hard thing to do.

Some people want to have sex so badly that they’ll get married six months into knowing someone. At that point, I’m like, “Just have sex.” I got pregnant, and that caused me to rush into a marriage. We didn’t build a steady foundation before we committed to each other, and I think the marriage ended because of that.

ED: Do you have any dating red flags?

LT: Red flag: commitment issues. In Utah, a lot of guys aren’t over their exes, or other weird things keep them from committing and getting serious with someone. Another one is men who can’t communicate properly — they don’t know how to relay when something’s upsetting them and then they kind of just explode.

ED: What about green flags?

LT: Green flag: someone who’s in tune with their feelings. That’s super important in a relationship. If something’s making you upset, talk to your partner about it. It’s going to help everyone if you don’t bottle things up and wait for the wrong moment to bring it up. Also, as a single mom, someone who’s excited for kids and seems like he could be a good dad is a nonnegotiable.

ED: In the show, we saw that you threw a divorce party, which was surprising given the traditional expectations around marriage in your community. Can you tell me more about why that was empowering for you?

LT: Anyone would agree that divorce is a very hard thing. It’s not something you want, especially when you have a family. But I wanted to change the stigma around divorce if it’s necessary. In my case, I was in a very toxic, unhappy relationship, and it’s better to have two happy households than one unhappy one. I came from a divorced family growing up — my parents got divorced when I was 7, and it felt very negative — and I wanted to make this experience a happier thing.

I’m still discovering myself. My brain’s not even fully developed. There are so many parts of myself that I want to learn, develop and grow. I wanted to celebrate the fact that even though divorce is challenging, it’s also a new chapter of your life.

I would much rather be divorced with two kids than be in a relationship where I’m unhappy.

ED: Some of the girls in the friend group are in pretty tumultuous relationships. What do you think about Taylor and Dakota? What about Jen and Zac?

LT: Those relationships are difficult. Taylor and Dakota have gone through so much in such a short period, and I think they do a good job of trying to stay united. They’re both fiery personalities, and sometimes they butt heads. I know they have their shortcomings and fights, but I truly do wish the best for them.

In terms of Jen and Zac, a couple of the MomTok girls would agree that we’re not Zac’s biggest fans. Coming from a relationship where I was spoken down to, it’s hard to see that happen to one of your good friends. His comment that being divorced with two kids would be hard hurt, and I took it to heart. I would much rather be divorced with two kids than be in a relationship where I’m unhappy. So I have a hard time with Zac, but I want the best for Jen. And if Jen’s happy with Zac, then I’m happy for her.

ED: There was one point when Demi said that what happened after Chippendales was “a perfect example of the misogyny that goes on within the Mormon church.” What do you think about that?

LT: As women, we’re supposed to stay home. That’s what we’re raised in the church to do: take care of the babies while the man goes to work. He’s the head of the household and calls the shots. Zac and Jen’s relationship was teetering in that direction for a very long time, and Jen is starting to take back her power recently, and I’m proud of her for that.

This is something that really needs to change in the church, and our group is trying to empower women to step up and take their power back. You have a say, too. Use your voice and advocate for yourself.

We’re humans. We have sexual desires. We’re literally created to feel these things.

ED: You mentioned this season that you’ve never had an orgasm. Was it scary to say that out loud?

LT: It was hard to admit, especially because I wouldn’t want to make my past partners feel bad that they never did that for me. For a long time, I wondered if something was wrong with me. But I think this is more common than we realize — I’ve talked to women who have said they’ve faked orgasms before and that they’re doing it for their partners.

Sex should be enjoyable for both parties. It should not just be for the man. So I was happy to talk about it because it was a real thing for me at 22 years old. Hopefully, I can make other women feel that it’s OK and normal. If you haven’t had one, cross your fingers that you can feel one soon. Maybe you have to do it yourself, which I had to do, but now I know how to get to that step.

ED: Why is it important to you to talk about sex on such a public platform?

LT: We’re taught our whole lives not to have sex until we’re married, and then magically when you’re married you’re supposed to become this sexy porn star for your husband and perform for him. I lost my virginity when I was 15, and I felt so much shame about it. I felt like a bad person for doing that before I was “supposed to.”

We’re humans. We have sexual desires. We’re literally created to feel these things, so I want to be more open about the fact that we have sex and it’s OK. If you’re having it before you’re married, it’s OK. Sometimes you give in to your desires, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.