4 Non-Awkward Ways To Deal With Whiskey D*ck, Because It's Really Not A Big Deal
I'm no man (shocker!), but I'd imagine "whiskey d*ck" is the male equivalent of aggressively craving a bag of Cheetos when you've just gotten your nails done. You want to reach into that cheesy little bag so badly, but you just. Can't. Do. It. And if you've ever encountered this situation (the whiskey one, not the Cheetos), you've probably wondered what to do about whiskey d*ck.
"There are many colloquial names for this experience," says Jonathan Masel, M.D., F.A.C.S., a board-certified urologist at the Masel Urology Center. "Most are linked to the types alcohol that are consumed in different environments. College communities will associate the problem with beer, more adult scenes associate it more with whiskey or martinis."
And while many consider alcohol to be a great social lubricant, it's the opposite of an aphrodisiac from a biological standpoint. Alcohol is a one of the most common causes of erectile dysfunction (the inability to get and maintain an erection, more casually known as whiskey d*ck), according to the Mayo Clinic.
"Although alcohol tends to make you feel more comfortable and may help you to loosen up, when it comes time to 'perform,' men may notice that their natural sexual response is diminished," says Dr. Josh Axe, D.N.M., C.N.S., D.C., founder of Ancient Nutrition and DrAxe.com. "This may be due to alcohol-induced hormonal changes that affect your entire body and disrupt normal physiological and behavioral functions."
Simply put, alcohol depresses your nervous system and restricts circulation, making it more difficult for blood to flow to the right places. Stress is another common culprit, so if you're feeling a lot of pressure in any given sexual situation, it's going to make it even more difficult for him to perform (such a catch-22, right?).
And plot twist, guys: Women can actually experience the same challenges — there just hasn't been as much research around this. "Decreased libido and decreased vaginal lubrication have been reported [as a result of alcohol consumption]," said Dr. Masel. "Of course, there has been less research on women in this area. Interestingly, one study demonstrated a greater decrease in libido with marijuana in women than with alcohol."
So, let's say — for whatever reason — your partner's experiencing something akin to whiskey d*ck. First and foremost, it's important to remember that this is 1000 percent not happening because of you, so don't let it keep you from feeling like any less of a sex goddess! The only thing that's happening here is a restricted blood flow, and that's out of everyone's hands. What you do have control over, however, is how you handle what happens next. So, here are four totally non-awkward ways to deal with whiskey d*ck and enjoy the rest of your evening together.
P.S. All of these are best handled with a simple, "Don't worry about it! No big deal!" Because seriously, it isn't.
Focus Your Attention On Other Parts Of Their Body
"The liver can process about one alcoholic drink an hour, so waiting for the alcohol to be fully metabolized is your best bet," says Dr. Masel.
While you wait for the effects to wear off, run your fingers through their hair, nibble on their earlobes, nip at their neck — shift your focus to every other spot that's sure to turn them on. And if this particular case of whiskey d*ck is caused by nerves, assuring your partner that you still think they're super attractive is sure to help build their confidence back up (and might help get a few other things up, too).
Focus Their Attention On Your Body
Your partner may not be able to perform sexually ATM, but there's no reason why they can't be there for you! Take their hands in yours and lead the way, directing them to all of the right spots on your body. This will likely come in handy the next time you two hook up, too, as they'll already have a solid sense of what you like.
Distract Them With Food
"No, I don't want to grab pizza," said no drunk person ever. And, as one of my (very few) guy friends told to me, "If a girl doesn't mind that I can't get it up and will feed me, I'll probably marry her."
If your partner's having a hard time getting aroused, take a snack break! Getting a little food in their system might help them sober (and harden) up, and it's sure to break up the tension of the evening. Also, snacks are great.
Revert To A Netflix And Chill Strategy
Once again, whiskey d*ck is NBD. But if your partner's feeling tons of pressure, maybe it's best to take a step back from sexy time and just chill out for a little while. You can cuddle, watch a sitcom or a movie, and put any awkward energy behind you.
Talk About It
If this has become a recurring issue in your sex lives, however, it's worth talking it out.
"It’s key to communicate about the problem," says Dr. Axe. "If this is a one-time thing after a party or event that involved drinking heavier than usual, then you’ll move past it without much of an issue. But if this is an on-going problem that’s beginning to affect your relationship and sex life, it needs to be addressed."
Just wait until you've both sobered up before diving into that conversation.
"I think it’s best to wait until your partner is completely sober before trying to thoroughly discuss this issue, as brain function while intoxicated generally won’t lead to well-reasoned discussion," explains Dr. Axe.
Whichever direction or method you use, just know not to stress. You two are still going to have a great night — I can feel it.
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