What Not To Say During Sex, Based On The Worst Things Guys Have Heard


Dirty talk has never been a strong suit of mine. What do people talk about when they're talking dirty? I mean, I guess a general rule of thumb would be to reference what you want your partner to do to you, but, like, how do you make sure you don't say something weird and awkward?! For me, when I'm stressed about something like that, I like to imagine what the worst case scenario could be. What's the worst possible thing I could say in bed? Well, a recent Reddit thread may offer some ideas for what not to say during sex.

More specifically, the thread asked its users to share the actual worst things they've heard while having sex. And, um, let's just say, the things these guys shared were definitely mood killers. BUT, before you start reading these, let me be totally clear here: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT IN BED. Dirty talk is subjective. What works for one guy may not work for another guy, just like the subpar dirty talk one person uses on you in bed may have only worked for his ex.

But anyway, without further ado, here are some lines you might want to avoid uttering during sex... you know, if you're having sex with these guys, that is.

This guy didn't like being rushed.


This guy didn't like being asked if they could make a baby on the second date.


This guy wasn't thrilled when his sex partner warned him of a future surprise.


This guys didn't really like having his methods questioned.


This conversation is just... yeah.


This guy got antsy.


This guy said one girl called him her "baby boy."


This guy didn't like being compared to a dog.


This guy doesn't like unnatural screams.


This guy didn't like the return policy.


Um, yeah, just don't bring up kids during sex. Ever.


This guy didn't like being blamed for queefing.


Once again, dirty talk is totally subjective! If you want to call someone your "baby boy," and it doesn't work for your current partner, maybe it will for someone else out there.

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