There have been a lot, a lot of criticisms leveled against Donald Trump. But the fact that people are saying he drinks water like an animal might just be the all-time funniest, most whimsical, criticism of them all. Because, honestly, 2017 is almost over and we could all use a large heaping of whimsy right about now. Tweets about Donald Trump drinking water are so bizarre, yet so, so perfect — because everyone thinks he looks like a raccoon.
#Raccoongate started on Dec. 18, when the president took a break during his national security speech to take a sip of water. All fine and good, right? Well, turns out Trump has a very unusual way of lifting up his glass. As in, he completely hunches his shoulders over and clutches his drink between his two paws — I mean, hands. The Twitterverse pretty much exploded with glee.
One user likened the clip to a raccoon eating garbage, which caused the whole thread to spiral into more raccoon analogies than you've probably ever encountered in your life. Some focused on animal imagery. Others took the opportunity to point out Trump's small hands. It was a good time all around.
So, to sum up all of those responses?
This whole thing is very ironic for a number of reasons. First off, there is nothing that Trump would dislike more than anyone fixating on his hands. It's a bit of a sore subject for the president.
You see, Trump has been dealing with people insulting his smaller than average hands for a long, long time. Almost 30 years ago, Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, described Trump as a “short-fingered vulgarian" (lol). He later explained that he had made that comment "just to drive [Trump] a little bit crazy." From that point on, the business mogul allegedly desperately tried to prove to Carter that he doesn't have small hands. It became his own personal Everest.
"To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him — generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers," Carter wrote in 2015. "I almost feel sorry for the poor fellow because, to me, the fingers still look abnormally stubby."
Those envelopes continued all the way up until Trump's run for presidency. Carter recalled receiving another set of circled pictures, only this time it included a message with it:
"Like the other packages," Carter wrote, "this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: 'See, not so short!'"
When they go low, we go... eh, I guess not.
Flash forward to the presidential election, and Republican candidate Marco Rubio brought some hand jokes out during the campaign trail, saying,
He is taller than me, he's like 6' 2", which is why I don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5' 2. Have you seen his hands? And you know what they say about men with small hands...
Unsurprisingly, this did not sit well with Trump. Like, at all. During the March 2016 Republican debate in Detroit, the president said,
Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands — if they are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee you.
Cool, that was really something we all needed to hear.
Speaking of Rubio, the two men got into another vicious argument over a water bottle (looks like this whole thing came full circle). During the 2016 presidential campaign, Trump mocked Rubio for pausing to take a sip of water from a bottle during his televised response to the 2013 State of the Union speech.
"Do you remember that catastrophe?" Trump asked during one of his early campaign rallies. He then proceeded to splash a water bottle around on stage, screeching, "It's Rubio." Hillllarrrrious. He also tweeted about it.
Well, unfortunately for Trump, he had to then drink from a water bottle while giving a speech, as evidenced below:
This, of course, opened him up to much mockery — particularly by Rubio, who couldn't have been more delighted by the turn of events.
I wonder how furious Trump is with all this mockery. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he probably doesn't even care about the wild animal analogy, but rather the fact that we've all been reminded, once again, that the president has teeny, tiny hands.