People Are Tweeting Stupid Questions To Ask Your Spouse & Good God, Don't Ask These

by Candice Jalili

As a kid, I was always taught that there's no such thing as a stupid question. Then, I grew up and started to learn that, much like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, the whole "no such thing as a stupid question" thing was a blatant lie. There IS a such thing as a stupid question. I learned that the hard way when I got to college and would get the side eye from everyone every time I asked a question about the reading that was unworthy of their intellect. And these tweets about stupid questions to ask your spouse prove that stupid questions aren't only limited to the classroom; they can take place within the comfortable confines of your own home.

People have spent all day on Twitter writing about the worst things you can possibly ask your spouse with the hashtag #StupidQuestionsForYourSpouse. Now, before we start reading these and relentlessly judging the people who would think to ask such dumb questions, let's remember that asking a dumb question does not necessarily make you a dumb person. In fact, I'd be willing to venture that every single person reading this has asked a stupid question of their own at one point or another. So, to avoid asking them any more, let's just try to use these as learning lessons. Read along, cringe, and try your best to avoid making the same mistakes as these people.

If you forget your anniversary, your spouse is probably not the best person to ask for a refresher.

News flash: Your spouse could not care less about what shade of white you paint the living room.

Why bother asking a question you know they're not going to answer honestly?

No, they're not going to skip the Super Bowl with their friends to watch your romance movie with you.

Just tell them what you changed. Stop with the games.

First, don't have a side chick. Second, don't tell your wife about your side chick.

Try not to compare your spouse to their sister. As if her parents didn't already do that enough.

Even if she is on her period, don't ask.

You don't want to know where they learned that new move.


Cheating is cheating... even if you ask permission.

Why bother setting a trap where you're not going to like their answer either way?

Maybe don't hint that you're going to murder your spouse.

Stop kidding yourself. OBVIOUSLY, your spouse doesn't love you more than cheese. Have you had cheese?

Don't compare yourself to other people, and don't force your spouse to do it, either.

Eating fries is never a matter of hunger.

No, they're not going to stop talking.

If they did think about leaving you at the altar, why would you even want to know something like that?

Constantly checking in to take the pulse of their love for you is pretty much the quickest way to make them love you less.

No, it would not be great if you forced your spouse to share a home with their mother-in-law.

They don't want a household appliance as a birthday gift... or a Christmas gift. While we're at it, let's cross Valentine's Day off that list as well.

Yes, they find other people attractive. No, they probably don't want to date them.

Don't expect them to bankroll your trip to the strip club.

There should only be one woman leaving earrings on your nightstand. No room for confusion.

Whatever you do, do NOT acknowledge their age.

OK, now, consider yourselves warned. Asking these questions after seeing them on a list of stupid questions is the only thing you could possibly do that's worse than asking them before reading the list.

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