Realizing you're trans or non-binary can be both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. These feelings can be amplified depending on what kind of support system — chosen family, therapist or spiritual mentor, and partner — you have by your side. Telling your partner you’re changing your pronouns can feel scary or risky, but before you catastrophize, remember this: It's possible that, instead of driving a wedge between you and your partner, disclosing your new pronouns can actually bring you closer together.
Right now, as you're shedding the vocabulary of the gender you were assigned at birth, you're probably realizing just how important language really is. You probably feel in your bones how great it would be if your partner could use empowering terms for your body, call you by a more masculine or feminine name, or simply use pronouns that make you feel good in your skin. You may be yearning for their support when you get misgendered or dead-named, and for them to stick up for you without shame. Here's what to keep in mind when informing your partner about your gender identity and pronouns, because you deserve to be with someone who's a part of your trans-inclusive support system.