I Asked My Tinder Matches What Their Worst Qualities Are In Relationships & Wow
Whether we like it or not, none of us are perfect. In a relationship, we bring both our best and worst qualities to the partnership. With any good relationship, your faults are something you work on and try to improve. When I'm in a committed partnership with someone, I love having lots of attention (which can be too much for some people!) and I'm definitely a blanket-stealer in bed. I got curious about what other people deem their worst qualities in relationships, so I took to Tinder to find out.
Generally speaking, a lot of people answered that they have communication issues. On the bright side, at least they're aware of them. For any person with faults (AKA everyone), knowing what those faults are is the first step toward bettering yourself. So, props to my Tinder matches who were able to be so vulnerable. Four for you, Tinder matches; you go, Tinder matches.
Anyway, onto their answers.
One of my Tinder matches, Jose, 26, says his worst quality is that he takes forgiveness too far. He told me about how growing up feeling different and just wanting to be accepted for who he is shaped his views on relationships.
"Basically, being raised in an adopted family in an area that found my skin tone offensive, any time someone showed interest, I just was like, 'Oh, um anything you say, anything you do, I'm OK, just love me.'"
"I'm far too understanding," he says. Jose continued, "My ex-fiancée cheated on me and if it wasn't for my one friend basically calling it off [for me], we would be married. And yes, she cheated on me [two] months before [our] actual wedding date." Jose says that his ex came clean about the cheating, he forgave her, and had every intention on marrying her. "I was like, 'Hey, it's fine, I love you, and we can make it work.'"
Annika, 26, says she has a way different "worst quality." She needs space from her partner when she's in a relationship.
She tells me her worst quality is "probably the amount of alone time I need. I'm autistic and get overwhelmed by people, especially early in on a relationship, so I need a lot of time where I’m just not interacting with humans. Sometimes I won't answer texts for a day or two, and I can totally ghost if I'm really overwhelmed. People who need constant attention and feedback are my worst nightmare. I know a lot of people want constant connection to the person they’re dating and I just can’t do that."
Then there were matches who recognized communication as their worst quality when in a relationship.
Steven, 22, says it isn't his "strong point."
"I'm not always the best," he tells Elite Daily. "I process a lot of things internally, so when it's time to [communicate] with someone, it can get messy."
Another Andrew, also 26, realizes he could work on communication more, too. "I don't communicate as much as I should," he tells Elite Daily.
"Most of the time, it's little things I don't mention, but it's things that matter, and I need to learn to just open up and share more," he says.
And then there are people who just don't want a relationship, point-blank.
John*, 26, believes his worst quality in a relationship is that he's not actually looking to commit. He tells Elite Daily he's "still young and just looking for [something] casual and to have fun; nothing serious."
I was pretty surprised by my matches' openness, vulnerability, and honesty. We all have parts of ourselves we aren't proud of or that we're working on. We're all complicated creatures who deserve love. If you can identify your so-called "worst" qualities, you can find someone who can balance you out. What you see as your worst quality might not be such a bad thing in their eyes, after all.
*Name has been changed at the source's request.