I Asked My Tinder Matches If They Wanted To Build A Snowman With Me & Here's What Happened

by Annie Foskett

If you live in Northeastern United States and you have had to leave the warmth of your home within the past 24 hours, you're probably pretty grumpy. Same — it's cold and windy out there. I am also extra grumpy because I refuse to call this winter storm a "bomb cyclone." The term feels overdramatic and makes me think of a tornado cone made up of bomb emojis or a title for a scary episode of Black Mirror. In order to reverse my curmudgeonly ways, I asked my Tinder matches to build a snowman, and they, surprisingly, replied.

Well... about 40 percent of them did, but hey! That's a decent batting average. Despite the fact that I assume most of my male matches hadn't seen the passé Disney cartoon Frozen, which includes a song called "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" I was pleasantly surprised at how many of them were willing to indulge my strange request (especially on a work day). Before you @ me, I genuinely will build a snowman with one of these dudes if the conversation continues nicely, as I am a single woman who is certainly looking. Here are a few choice favorite responses from my new pick-up line (if we can even call it that).

This Guy Got Very Literal About My Invite

Kimmy Foskett

It is quite cold, so I can't fault him for the indecision. I like his genuine noncommittal "maybe" and his follow-up considerations. No one likes a tease, right? The technicalities with which he considered the air temperature and his recent purchase make me think he is probably an engineer or a programmer. I feel like his "yes" or "no" hinges upon the location I pick...

This Guy's A Feminist And I Can Dig It

Kimmy Foskett

I'll admit that I wasn't impressed with the top hat line, but the mention of a snow woman, even if pandering, made me very pleased with the state of men in New York. The "precipitation is intersectional" also really got me due to the clever wordplay, so I would give this guy an A+ for effort. Ladies can wear top hats, too.

This Guy Also Reminded Me To Be Gender Neutral

Kimmy Foskett

SCHOOLED AGAIN. My self-proclaimed feminist can go suck it, apparently. To be fair, the snow-person emoji's gender is not definitive, now that we've established top hats are for everyone. I feel like the openness to my invite means this guy would be a bomb cyclone of a date.

This Guy Did Not Entertain My Quip

Kimmy Foskett

Are you a bot? He was cute, too. Alas...

This Guy Was Fully On Board

Kimmy Foskett

And now, we're in the park building a snow-person! Just kidding, but I do think that excitement is a great vibe to have when replying to dating app messages, so I give this one a major thumbs up. Who doesn't like to feel like the person they swiped on is actually interested and engaged, too? Vulnerability for president!

This Guy Probably Thought I Was A Weirdo

Kimmy Foskett

I mean, to be fair, I'd probably have the same reaction to this request. At least he was amenable to the idea and understood that I might not be serious?

This Guy Took Me Seriously, But Also Could've Been Trolling Me

Kimmy Foskett

I feel like "u got a park in mind" is a fun, weird riff on "you got a spot in mind?" when it comes to picking a place for drinks, so I'm into that. I also sort of feel like I should just reply with the name of a bar, and if he went along with it, that would be fun? We'll see.

This Guy Wants To Pummel Me... With Snow

Kimmy Foskett

No, not pummel is the sexual way, but pummeling is not my style anyway, so that is fine by me. I'm curious about this dude who wants to throw snow in my face, rather than build a cute snow-person together, but maybe I'm ignorant of the power of first date snowball fights.

Overall, Tinder guys seemed mildly amused and generally willing to engage with my snow day request. If you're looking for a cutie to stay out of the cold with during this horrible bomb cyclone (all right, I've caved) then why not try mass-messaging a line like "Do you want to build a snowman?" Let me know how it goes.

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