6 Subtle Red Flags That Your So-Called "Friend" Is Actually A Friend Stealer

by Tessa Harvey

There's no avoiding it — making new friends can be difficult AF. But as we get older, it just seems to get even harder. From work and school, to commitments and family, there is so much we have on our plates. It's certainly not as easy as bonding with someone over the shared love of recess anymore. So, the last thing you probably want in your life is a fake or toxic friend. This is why you should know how to tell if your friend is trying to steal your friends with a few key red flags.

Let's be real here — no one has time for that BS. As hard as you may find it to make new friends, other people find themselves in a similar boat. And sometimes, they'll go to annoying lengths to find new friends — like mooching off of you, which is so not cool.

The truth is, this kind of friend is really a snake. It can be hard to spot them at first. They're quick, sly, and have a game plan in mind. It also sucks to cut a friend like this out of your life, especially if she's one that you thought you could trust with your life. But, friend-stealing "friends" have a way of being found out. So, if you've caught them early on, consider it a blessing. Need some pointers? If your friend is doing these six things, you just might need to cut her loose.

If She Always Wants To Group Hang

If she's trying to get at your friends, she's probably really only down for the squad hangouts. Think about it. Can you remember the last time the two of you hung out, just the two of you? If it's pretty hard to remember, consider that a major warning sign. There's definitely something up if her only idea of fun is when the two of you are hanging out with your friends.

If She Avoids You At Said Hang

Maybe you ignore that little voice in your head, and the next time you see your "friend" (used very lightly here) is at the next group hang she coordinates with you and your friends. While you're there, it seems like she just doesn't have the time to interact with you. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bad thing — but this is way more than a case of my-friend-won't-pay-attention-to-me.

In this case, she may be solely focused on sucking up to everyone else at the party. If you're getting those vibes, consider it warning sign number two.

She's Always Talking To Your Friends On Social Media

Here's a good one. No matter what social media platform you're on, from Facebook to Twitter, you always see her interacting with your friends. It started as one or two nice comments on your BFF's latest Insta post. Now, it seems like she's commenting on everything, and it feels a little forced and fake AF.

One more detail — who's left out of the equation here? You. If you're included in the social media chats, this might not be what's happening. But if you aren't, it's for a reason.

She Asks Them To Hang Out Without You

At this point, your "friend" has really crossed the line. She has gone from putting up a facade and pretending that she's trying to include you, to completely shutting you out of your own squad. WTF.

Odds are, if your friends catch onto any of these red flags, they'll stick up for you and tell this chick where to go. Genuine friends always have each other's backs, no matter what.

She Conveniently Only Texts In The Group Chat

Naturally, you text your friend because you want to keep up on the scoop in her life. It seems to take forever for her to answer, but she blames it on being busy, so you let it slide.

When it comes the group chat, though, this girl is always the first to answer. She doesn't waste time answering the call for advice or laughing at the latest embarrassing story. I've got news for you — something's up.

The Two Of You Don't Hang With Her Friends

Last but not least, if you've known each other long enough that the two of you have consistently hung out with your friends but not with hers, that's a definite warning sign. Either she has friends, but doesn't want to share them, or she's definitely poaching yours.

Take a step back to fully assess the situation at hand. It may be time for a talk, or to cut her out of your life completely.