I honestly believe that figuring out how to resolve a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend is one of the most important elements of being in a relationship. I mean, let's be honest. Even the least confrontational people on the face of the planet are still going to get into disagreements with their partners from time to time. And that's OK! No two people are going to be totally on the same page about every single topic. A disagreement here and there is inevitable. But how you manage to make it through those disagreements is the difficult part.
Needless to say, fights can be lethal for a relationship. If mishandled, even the silliest disagreement can spiral into a breakup. But if handled correctly, even the most heart-wrenchingly exhausting fight can wind up leaving your relationship even stronger than it was before the fight began.
But how do you manage to actually resolve a fight with your partner instead of making it worse? What should your next step be once you realize the two of you definitely don't see eye-to-eye on any given topic? Well, seven women in relationships just shared on a Reddit AskWomen thread the way they resolve fights within their relationships and their tips couldn't be more helpful. Read along and take note, people!
We talk it through immediately.
My SO retreats and I am the kind of person who wants to unpack it immediately. He likes to have space, think about it and then be reasonable.
Both of these are totally acceptable ways to work through conflict... Harder when you're in the relationship with two different methods.
At the beginning, we'd fight and he'd retreat and I'd follow. This was a recipe for disaster. I wasn't feeling heard and he was feeling like I was backing him into a corner.
Now when we argue, I allow him to have his space. It's helpful for me now to have those moments to myself to calm down. Try to see his side of things and evaluate my position.
And then he allows me to unpack it. He's calmer and I am more rational.
We'll address it as soon as we can form words for it. Resolving it will take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days, with brain breaks as needed, depending on the issue.
We've never had an angry shouting fight precisely because if one of us is upset by the other, we talk about it in a calm manner and resolve the conflict there and then.
We take some time. I’ve told my husband that if speak while angry, there will be no filter. I refuse to let myself say something I can’t take back. So I need a moment to formulate my thoughts and pull myself together.
He runs away and I'm too stubborn to go after him. He eventually comes back to cuddle
It’s not true to say we even fight. Subjects come up that we disagree on but we don’t quarrel or get mad at one another.
We just talk it through.
One thing that becomes abundantly evident here? There's no one universal way to resolve a fight with your partner. Different methods work for different couples! Spend some time trying to figure out what method would work best for you and your partner.
