As amazing as sex can be, not many people talk openly about important things like orgasm anxiety, body-image insecurity, and even the general shame that can, unfortunately, sometimes accompany sexual pleasure. These are all common things that anyone might deal with from time to time in their sex life, and if it's something you're struggling with right now, it might be worth it to learn how to meditate for better sex, because according to recent research, it just might drastically improve your overall relationship with sex.
A recent study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy revealed that women who meditate tend to have better sex lives. The research involved 450 women between 17 and 70 years old, all of whom answered online survey questions about their experiences with meditation, their sex lives, health, and mood. The results showed that, compared to those who don't meditate, "women who meditate to any extent have, on average, improved sexual function associated with better overall mental health."
This is basically because meditation helps you become more aware of various sensations and feelings going on in your body, especially during sex, and overall, it can amp up your ability to be more present and experience pleasure, sexual or otherwise. Yeah, now you're interested in meditation, right?
And while you could try half-heartedly meditating a few times for the sake of having some awesome orgasms, Mark Henick, an internationally recognized mental health strategist, advocate, and speaker, says that in mindfulness, like with any practice, the more you do it, the better you get.
"In this case, learning to center yourself fully in the present prior to (and during) intimate moments will reduce your stress, help you to focus on even the smallest sensations in your body, heighten your perception of stimuli, and increase your connection with your partner," Henick tells Elite Daily over email. "So often what stands in the way of deep connection are matters of distraction and stress. Removing or reducing those extraneous factors will provide you with a much more satisfying experience."
While, realistically, you can start with any form of meditation that suits you to see where it takes you both during masturbation and when you're having sex with a partner, Carol Queen, Ph.D., a staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, believes that the best type of meditation to practice to benefit your sex life is something called sensate focus. "This means mentally tuning in only to the sensations of the body," Queen tells Elite Daily over email. "Every time you notice you’re slipping away from that focus, just gently turn your attention back."
When you practice sensate focus, Queen says, you can strengthen the mind-body connection in a pro-sexual way. Additionally, you might also discover that you aren't sufficiently aroused or comfortable in certain moments. In the latter case, of course, it's best to communicate with yourself or to your partner about how you're feeling and what you do or don't like.
As far as Queen is concerned, "there’s no real substitute for [meditation] when you are aiming for pleasure." She tells Elite Daily, "Erotic sensations aren’t processed in your genitals (or wherever you are feeling them), but in your brain."
And when you think about it (no pun intended), the brain is really the most significant sexual organ. So, according to Queen, if you fill your brain with anti-sexual stuff — shame, anxiety, etc. — it impacts your overall ability to experience pleasure. This is why, by and large, meditating can have such a powerful and long-lasting impact on your sex life. "Beyond [sensate focus], successfully meditating — any kind of meditation practice — can help a person avoid that experience that can be so problematic when it keeps you in your head and full of anxiety during sex," Queen explains.
For some, simply sitting down for just a couple of minutes a day to meditate might be a first step on the way to sensate focus — and to the best sex of your life.